"the twelve pains of Christmas"

All the work of the past few weeks ended yesterday. Thank goodness.

The kids liked their gifts, even though we weren't able to find a Wii. Everyone bought Renee "baby things", so I got her things that had nothing to do with the baby....a nice purse, a robe, slippers...she seemed to really like it all. Joe didn't come down for Christmas, so we'll semi-do-it-again when he's off work. It's a good thing I do a Christmas club every year, or I don't know how we would have afforded it.
We went to Afro's for Christmas dinner, and watched some old family video's. It was a nice day.

I informed everyone that I'm taking today off. I said last night, "I am doing nothing tomorrow. I might put my laundry away, and I might made dinner, but other than that, I'm doing nothing!" I'm exhausted from all the cooking, baking, shopping, wrapping and cleaning. It will be nice to have a day to do absolutely nothing. I'm going to read and watch tv and sit around. My Christmas gift to me.

I made a great stuffed flank steak the other night. It was filled with gorgonzola cheese, parmesean cheese, roasted red peppers and spinach, then rolled and braised, then slow cooked for about an hour. It was delicious. The cheeses mixed with the red peppers was fantastic.

I hope everyone had a great holiday yesterday, and has a relaxing time, at some point, between now and the new year.

"Good luck moving up, cuz I"m moving out..."

Braden has a new friend that lives in town. Now he knows the joys of "town life". When he goes to this kid's house, they ride bikes all over the place. They visit other friends. They ride to the park or to the school or to 7-11 for slushies and beef jerky.
The other day he said, "I think we should sell our house and move in town." I explained to him that I understand the appeal, but remember, that means you wouldn't have a pool or be able to ride the four wheeler if you live in town.
After thinking about it for a few minutes, he said, "Couldn't you and dad get divorced, but not really get divorced? Just live in separate houses. One of you could live in town and the other could live here. Then I could just go back and forth depending on my mood."
Keith said, "no way!"
I said I'd think about it.

"We wish you a Merry Christmas...."

One week to go, and I'm mostly ready. I have a couple of small gifts to buy yet, and we'd love the get the family a Wii, but they're proving impossible to find.
They're calling for a snow/ice storm here Saturday night. I have to go grocery shopping tomorrow to get my weekly groceries and my baking supplies....the place will be a zoo!
We had a snow day on Thursday, so I got presents wrapped and some cleaning done. All I have to do this weekend is grocery shop and bake.
Andre's here for the weekend. I arranged for him to be able to go on visits with JJ's aunt, so he hasn't been coming as often, plus it gives him another visiting resource. It takes some of the pressure off of us.
We're still waiting things out on the mortgage front. There have been some positive developments and some negative ones. I'm doing my best not to panic. There's a little voice in my head (maybe it's mum's) that's saying everything will work out okay. Hopefully, it's right.

"I am woman, here me roar...."

This is a practice essay one of my students, B, wrote. This is the girl that had the "melt down" a couple of months ago. I wish I would have met her when she was younger.

Sometimes in our lives we tend to meet people who influence us in a very significant way. Sometimes we beed someone to infulence us in a good way, to push us forward. Many people have met someone like this who makes them feel really good inside. In this case my teacher, Mrs. Koch, has had a great influence on me.
Mrs. Koch is very funny with a great sense of humor. When I first moved up to Pennsylvania, I was very alone and I hated it up here. One, it was boring, but when I started attending Colonial Academy I made friends with Mrs. Koch. She made it easy to attend Colonial Academy. Also, she influenced me to do well at all times. When I start to get upset, she'll come and talk to me.
In conclusion, Mrs. Koch is a wonderful and exciting person. I've learned a lot from her like hot to act like a woman. Now I know that someone will be there when I need help.

Check this out!

Keith, Braden, JJ and I took dancing lessons, and we're going to perform at the local retirement village. What do you think?

http://www.elfyourself.com/?id=1153019599

"It's beginning to look a lot like Christmas..."

My Thanksgiving dinner went well. The brined turkey was delicious! Not enough left for leftovers, like hot turkey sandwiches which I love.
My oldest brother and his family came and they brought their new puppy. It's a viszla. How beautiful and well behaved this dog was. Of course, now my kids want one. Guy paid $1200 for this one and we're not in any position to pay $12 for a dog right now, let alone $1200. I guess that's good, because I really don't want anything else to take care of.
Renee is starting to show, and she's trying to "mature". She proved it by actually staying in the kitchen with the women after Thanksgiving dinner, and washing dishes (which, trust me, no one else around here volunteered to do). Her "baby daddy" is coming up from Atlanta on Saturday, and I'm anxious to meet him. I think.
We still don't know anything else about our mortgage situation. There's a hearing on January 18th with the new banks. There's also one that was arranged by our state senator that's the 10th of December. We'll see how that goes. We got a foreclosure notice in the mail on Tuesday. That's not a piece of mail anyone should have to open, especially weeks before Christmas.
Tonight I have book group, we read "Digging to America", by Anne Tyler. It was okay. Nothing to write home about. Tomorrow I have to grocery shop and then when I get home, I'm going to decorate for Christmas. Sunday we have JJ's football banquet.
I had Braden's school conference last week. I heard all positive things. He has a great bunch of teachers this year, and I was practically blushing from all the compliments. He's even getting moved out of his last learning support class, math. He's so proud of himself, and we're so proud of him.

Since you asked

We’re doing the same thing we do every year. We forego dinner on Thanksgiving day (when we were first married, this was the day to spend with inlaws-instead of cramming two meals into one day – but, since Keith’s mom passed away, I don’t have any inlaws) and I have my big get together on Sunday.
This year, I’m going to brine my turkey the day before (a new recipe). I found a new cranberry sauce recipe that I’m going to try too. Other than that it will be: Wedding soup, asst. appetizers, turkey, stuffing, mashed potatoes, cranberry sauce, and broccoli. For dessert, my brother is bringing some sort of pie, and I’m going to make bread pudding with a warm brown sugar sauce. I might add another meat…so there’s a little choice, but I’m not sure yet.
We’ll have 18 people over for dinner. I’ll run around like a nut the day before and the morning of. I always stress myself out over these things and they usually go well, so it’s for naught.
Keith’s having surgery today, nothing major---just his knee. But, that means I’ll also get to spend the weekend playing Florence Nightingale. You probably would never guess this about me, but being nurturing isn’t my strong point. I’ll probably make up excuses to leave the house as often as possible. “Honey, I think we’re out of liquid plumber, I’ll be right back.” “Keith, the neighbor just called, she needs me to clean out her eaves, see you soon.” “I have to run to the DMV, it shouldn’t take long.”
I will, however, enjoy having five days off of school so I can sleep in.

"She's having my baby...."

Things are progressing around here like they usually do this time of the year. Nothing too exciting, but lots of little stuff to keep me busy.
I have to start getting ready for our big Thanksgiving dinner next weekend. I saw this recipe where you brine the turkey 24 hours ahead of time, then just rub it with olive oil and roast it. I might try it.
Braden and JJ are both doing well. First marking period report cards came home. Braden missed honor roll by one stinking point. JJ wasn't close to honor roll, but got all C's and B's. I'll take it. They both had positive comments from their teachers.
Renee is starting to show. She was here last weekend and raided my closet looking for pants she could get around her waist. Unfortunately, she didn't like any of my pants. Maybe that's fortunately. She did, however, manage to smuggle my Ugg boots out with her....which of course I didn't realize until I went to wear them yesterday. This week she's talking about moving to Atlanta where her "baby daddy" lives. I've learned to wait and see with her, as he plans tend to change every other week.
The other day, Braden came into the room and said, "Mom, I have a surprise for you. I wrote to Oprah to tell her that you should be on her show. I said in the email that, 'my mom says sometimes I need to think about someone besides myself, so I'd like her to be able to come and see your show because she loves to watch it'." I asked him which show he signed me up for, and he said, "the one about liposuction." I told him that I don't want/need liposuction and he said, "why?" What a great kid ~~0~~0~~

Well, it's a step in the right direction.

This is a press release from the US Dept. of Justice about the guy that ran the mortgage company we used. Hopefully this is good news for the 823 mortgage holders.

PRESS RELEASE
FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE:
November 9, 2007
CONTACT: Martin C. Carlson
Acting U.S. Attorney
(717) 221-4482
BERKS COUNTY MAN AGREES TO PLEAD GUILTY
Martin C. Carlson, Acting United States Attorney for the Middle District of Pennsylvania, announced
today that his Office has charged the Berks County man at the center of a multi-million-dollar, failed
mortgage business with Mail Fraud and that he has agreed to plead guilty to the charge.
WESLEY A. SNYDER, age 71, of Oley, Pennsylvania, is charged in a one count Information filed in
U.S. District Court Harrisburg today with Mail Fraud Affecting a Financial Institution, 18 U.S.C. § 1341.
The Information alleges that between 1988 and September of 2007 SNYDER defrauded more than 800
individuals throughout Central and Eastern Pennsylvania via his “Wrap Around, Equity Slide Down
Discount” Mortgage Program and his “Mortgage Participation” Investment Program. The charge carries
a potential penalty of 30 years imprisonment and $1,000,000 fine.
SNYDER has agreed to plead guilty to the charge pursuant to a written plea agreement filed with the
Court. The agreement requires SNYDER to cooperate with the government and to make restitution to
his victims as ordered by the Court. The agreement stipulates the loss in the case is somewhere
between $15 million and $32 million dollars, the exact amount to be determined by the Court prior to
sentencing. Under the terms of the plea agreement the government has reserved its right to
recommend any sentence, up to and including the statutory maximum. No date has yet been set by the
Court for SNYDER’s entry of his guilty plea.
The plea agreement SNYDER signed is expressly contingent upon SNYDER making full and complete
disclosure of his assets to the government. The agreement acknowledges that SNYDER provided the
government a comprehensive Financial Statement on October 24, 2007, which detailed all of the assets
he owned and controlled. The agreement requires SNYDER to “freeze” his assets and not transfer,
dispose, sell, cash, assign, or otherwise encumber any asset, including but not limited to any bank
account, insurance policy, or interest in real estate, without the express knowledge and written consent
of the U.S. Attorney’s Office. The agreement also requires SNYDER to submit to interviews regarding
his financial status and, if necessary, to undergo a polygraph examination to ensure his compliance.
The agreement provides that any violation of the agreement by SNYDER would subject him to
sanctions and the possibility the government would ask the Court to be relieved of its obligations
under the plea agreement. SNYDER filed for bankruptcy approximately 7 weeks ago on September 18,
2007, on behalf of six Reading-based business entities he owned and operated, primarily under the
names of Personal Financial Management and Image Masters, Inc. Four days earlier SNYDER had
notified more than 800 customers in Lancaster, Lebanon, Dauphin, Cumberland, York, Berks, and
Schuylkill Counties that he could no longer make required mortgage payments on their behalf.
U.S. Postal Inspectors from Harrisburg executed a search warrant at SNYDER’s Oley, PA residence on
October 12, 2007. The Information filed by the government today alleges that between 1988 and 2007
SNYDER took in more than $65.6 million from 811 Wrap Around mortgage customers but only
forwarded approximately $39.1 million of that amount to their lenders. The Information also alleges
that SNYDER defrauded 31 individual Mortgage Participation investors out of an additional $3,000,000.
Carlson praised the work of the Postal Inspectors in Harrisburg on the case, noting that they quickly
and efficiently investigated an extremely complex and sophisticated white collar fraud. Carlson also
commended the assistance the Inspectors and his Office received from the PA Department of Banking,
the PA Attorney General’s Office, and the U.S. Attorney’s Office for the Eastern District of
Pennsylvania.
The case is being prosecuted by Assistant U.S. Attorney Kim Douglas Daniel.

"trick or treat, smell my feet...."

Not too much going on here. Well, let me change that. There's a lot going on, just not a lot of interesting things.
JJ's brother (the one that came to visit a couple of weekends ago) came up last night to go trick-or-treating with Braden. His caseworker/therapist drove him the nearly two hours each way so he could go. He was bragging to me that he is the only kid in his unit getting to go. (what he doesn't realize is that he's the only 17 year old, with the mentality of a 12 year old in his unit) Oh well. He came back with a huge bag full of candy and was tickled pink.
There's only one more week of football left, thank goodness. Our varisty team has only won one game all season, but the jv's (the team JJ is on) is 7 - 2. Hopefully they'll end the season 8 - 2. One of the players is hosting a brunch this Sunday in celebration for the last game. I'm making a pancake cake that's served with peaches and whipped cream.
As far as the whole mortgage/bankruptcy proceedings go....first a judge ordered that we can continue to pay our old amount until it all gets settled, then a federal judge said no, that the banks and customers have to learn to work together. He did say we could pay 75% of the higher amount until the next hearing, at the end of this month. There's a website created by some of the people involved, and I try to check it everyday. Everyday there is something new, "send this form to this person, write a letter to that person, call this office," but we never hear anything back, so we don't know what's really going on. Representatives of our group went to Harrisburg on Monday and met with state senators, representatives, banking officials, etc, but I don't know what anyone is going to be able to do. We're in a state of limbo.

"ABC it's easy as 123...."

Those of you who have been through the trials and tribulations of Braden and school might enjoy this.

I got a letter from the school the other day. Dread filled me instantly. I sat at the kitchen counter and opened it, a feeling of impending doom in the pit of my stomach. Wait a minute...."It gives me great pleasure to inform you," the letter began. What the??? It went on to say, "that your child has been selected by our faculty to the Nazareth Area Middle School's "Talon Club"!!! The Talon Club has been established to honor and recognize students who have set high personal goals and strive to reach them. The recognized students have achieved academically, exhibited great character, present themselves as a positive role model or established a personal set of values admired by others. I am excited about our new members and wish to offer my congratulations to you as parents for supporting and encouraging your child."

Isn't that great? There's a display in the lobby of the school with his picture and a list of some of his school accomplishments. I'm going to go down there and take a picture of it...much to his dismay I'm sure. I'm thinking about sending a copy to some of his past teachers with a little, "TOLD YOU SO" attached.

"Someone left the cake out in the rain"

There must be some sort of black cloud hanging over my head right now...and I'd like it to go away.
We had a very nice weekend with JJ's brother. He seems to be a good kid who was obviously on his best behavior...please and thank you all the time. However, he appears to be over-medicated and is very slow to respond to questions and gets very easily confused. I'm doing a little investigating into the medicines he's taking, although I'm not sure there's much I can do about it.
While I was driving him home, I got into a little accident. There was a large accident, and traffic was detoured. I drove a few blocks on the side road, and at one of the intersections, I stopped at the stop sign, looked both ways, then pulled out a bit to see if I was able to get back to the road I wanted to be on. When I saw that I could, I pulled out into the intersection. But, there was a car driving down the street and I hit it. No one was hurt...although I could do an entire blog entry on the kid driving and his very pecular parents. The kid was obviously speeding, and I could fight this, but I don't know if it's worth my time since it happened about an hour away from home and what-not. The cop recommended I fight it, but it might cost me more to take off work and drive there than the actual fine will be.
Tuesday, I was coming home from work and stopped at the end of my driveway to get my mail as usual. WHen I was turning to pull into the garage, the mail started to slip off my lap, and I instinctively went to grab it, turning the steering wheel in the process. I hit the side of my garage! Enough to do even more damage to my car.
There's another hearing in December when we'll find out if the temporary ruling by the judge in our mortgage case becomes permanent. That would be the best case scenario. I'm trying to think positively, but the way things are going right now, it's a little tough.
And, as if all that isn't enough, I missed my period last month. I'm 99% sure I'm not pregnant, and this is the start of menopause, but it's making me miserable....well, miserabler. I have had all the symptoms of getting my period, crankiness, a couple of pimples (including the ass pimple) and a craving for sweets....but no period.
And, speaking of periods. My daughter has informed me that she's pregnant. Not interested in getting married to the 30 year old guy she's been dating on and off, and she's not sure what she wants to do with her life. She is sure she wants to keep it, but not sure about how she plans on supporting herself or the baby. I've given her all the advice I can think of, and assured her that I will do whatever I can for her regardless, but really this is her decision to make.
Stay tuned for my next post where I'm sure there will be a plague or locust to report on.

"It's a famly affair"

Well, we got a bit of good news. At least for the time being. A judge has ordered an escrow account set up, so all customers that had mortgages through the bankrupt mortgage company can continue to pay the monthly payment they've been paying, until this whole mess is sorted out. The "new" mortgage companies have to accept that this is being done and not report anyone for "nonpayment" or report anything to the credit bureau (or whatever you'd call it). At least that gives us a little breathing room, and some time. There's also a class action suit being filed against the company, but I doubt that will amount to much. There's talk of a lawsuit, personally, against the president of the company for fraud. Supposedly the company has assets of $60 million, but liabilities of $100 million. I don't particularly want to split -$40 million.

I got a call last week from the agency that has JJ's brother Andre. We've been trying to arrange some sort of visit for him, JJ and Andrew (the one that comes her semi-regularly) but JJ's caseworker has never been able to come through. We dealt with Andre's agency directly, and made it happen. He's here for the weekend. It's the first time the three of them have been able to spend more than two hours together in years. So far, everything is going great, and they're all having a blast. Tonight, the three of them and Braden and a couple of JJ's friends are at a haunted amusement park. JJ just called to check in. All out of breath from laughing so hard.

I cried at school the other day. I have a girl in my class, B. She's bright, attractive and acts like the toughest, most streetwise, slutty, foul mouthed teenager you could ever meet. Her and I usually get along and I can almost always talk her down when she goes off. The other day she got into with another student, and got really personally nasty with him. She had to write him an apology letter. She was pissed. To quote her, "I'm not writing that fucking little prick a letter, he should write me one for pissing me the fuck off." I asked her if she didn't feel even just a little bit badly for hurting his feelings, and she said no. A few minutes later, she started sniffling and said she hated me for making her feel bad for not feeling bad. She reluctantly agreed to start writing the letter, and it was the usual "I'm sorry for hurting your feelings, I shouldn't have said what I said"....then she started practically gouging the paper with her pencil. I could tell she was very angry and I warned her to be careful what she was writing, because it was, after all, in writing. She finished the letter and thrust it at me, just daring me to read it. It said, "I'm an awful person. I hate myself. My life sucks and it makes me feel good to make you feel bad. I want other people's life to suck too. Sometimes I just have to share the hate I have for me with other people. It makes me feel good and I'm sorry for what I said and that I took my hate out on you. Please forgive me." After reading it, tears started for me. When she saw me, she started crying and asked if I thought she was bad. I assured her that I didn't think that for even a minute. She said, "Miss, you have no idea how much you mean to me. You're the only person in my life who even gives a shit what I do and cares enough to tell me to "knock it off". Thanks Miss." How do you reply to that one? I gave her a hug and she asked if she could speak with the other student to apologize in person. He agreed, they did, and that crisis was over. Except for the fact that she's getting cited for what she said.

My ass pimple is going away.

Okay, you all know about what we're going through right now with our mortgage....nothing new there, except no one seems to think they can help.
My house has become infested with bugs. I went to the "bug store" as Allan would call it, and they said it was a grain weevil (?). I found the source....an unopened box of milkbones. I've removed the source, but the bugs are still around. Not as badly, but still around.
My phone stopped working. I have no dial tone on any of my landlines. The computer works, and there's a signal at the outside box. Someone was supposed to come yesterday, but they never showed, so now I have to wait again today. I should charge them the $45 every 15 minutes they're going to charge me.
And, to top it all off, I woke up this morning with a pimple on my ass.

My life sucks.

My life sucks big time.


(and I know there are people worse off than me, but right now I don't care.)

"Money, it's a gas"

It was a pretty boring week here....nothing too exciting going on.
I heard back from the mortgage company..."I'm sorry, Mrs. Koch, there's nothing we can do. We have to honor the original contract, so you're responsible for the full amount." I honestly don't know what we're going to do. We have an appointment with an attorney on Tuesday. I hope he can tell us something positive.
I went to JJ's open house on Thursday night. All his teachers had wonderful things to say about him. I'm very proud of him. His football coaches told me that he does great, but they'd like to see some meanness from him on the field. I told him that we worked very hard at getting this mellow JJ we have now, thank you very much.
Braden's still on his, "I like school" kick, so we're running with it. I have never seen a more girl-crazy kid than him. He volunteered for the science mentoring program, where he'll work with 6th graders having problems in science class.
Renee is starting CNA training on Monday, and Joe's still a prison guard, although they've added him to the crisis team now, and he has to wear riot gear all the time, which he says is very heavy and cumbersome.
Tonight I'm going to a surprise birthday party for the teacher I work with. I'm looking forward to a night out. I might let my hair down and act not-my-age for a change. Although it's hard to act not-my-age when I will worry about drinking and driving, if the kids are behaving at home and all the crap I have to get done on Sunday. But, I'll give it the ole college try.

"Bluer than blue"

Well, the Koch family has found themselves in quite a jam.
We refinanced in order to do the kitchen remodel and fix up the basement. We found this mortgage/finance management company that does "wraparound/slider" mortgages. I'd never heard of them before, but essentially what they do is:
Appraise your home
Find out the maximum amount you're eligible to finance
Offer you a fantastic interest rate on the amount of money you actually need, if you'll agree to finance more money than you need, and they get to invest that extra money and make interest on it.
For example, if you want to finance $200,000, but qualify for $300,000....you finance $300000, then have a closing. Three days later you have a second closing saying that this company is responsible for $100,000, you're responsible for $200,000, and you pay them the payment on your $200,000, and they pay the original mortgage payment on the $300,000. Sound confusing? It did to me at first, but then it made sense. They make money on your $100,000, so they can give you a great interest rate on your $200,000.
So, of course, we went for it. The company has been in business for over 25 years, had a good standing with the BBB and references out the wazoo.
We got a letter from the mortgage/finance company yesterday saying that due to poor investments on their part, they're filing for bankrutcy. And, that they haven't made payments for the past two months, and that we're responsible for the entire payments.
We're screwed.
Keith's a mess, and of course, he couldn't wait to tell me when we were alone, he said it in front of the kids, who are now a wreck. What a jerk he was to blurt it out in front of them, "Schell, we're in trouble and I think we're going to lose the house!" I keep reassuring them that we'll work everything out, and they shouldn't worry, but you know how that goes.
If we can't do anything legally about all this, we're going to have to come up with an additional $700 a month for a mortgage payment, and be out around $90,000. Of course, we have all kinds of documentation, but if the company is bankrupt, I don't know what good that will do us. I called the mortgage company that thinks we owe them the higher payment, and explained the situation. I have to fax them all the documents that I have, then they will call me in a few days to see what they decide. Also, we have 60 days for some sort of decision to be made before anything will be reported to the credit bureau, so our credit rating will not be changed...yet.

I don't know what else we can do. There's a lot of smart people who come to this site, so I'm hoping someone has some advice for us.

Too dull for a title

Sadly, or maybe gladly, I don't have too much to report. This is the thing I don't like about blogging. I feel like I "have to" update, but when I don't have anything exciting going on, I desperately try to come up with something witty and clever. As you're probably noticing, I'm coming up empty.
Braden really likes school so far this year. He likes his classes and his teachers. Hopefully it will last the whole year.
JJ's doing well. He's only home to eat, sleep and do homework. Last night, he went to his first high school dance. When he came home he said it was "Alright". Which in JJ language means good.
Braden is on a scout canoeing/camping trip this weekend. Not to sound like a rotten parent, but it's nice to have him gone from time to time. He's pretty high maintenance.
I warned Braden and JJ countless times about the state of their dirty laundry. I've always done all the laundry here, but that doesn't mean I need to turn their sweaty, damp socks inside right, or pull apart beaters and regular shirts. Over the summer, I told them that if they didn't start "prepping" their clothes, they were going to have to do their own wash. That worked for about two weeks...then it started getting ridiculous again, so now they have to do their own. It's nice only having to do mine and Keith's. I'm rather enjoying it. I might actually start making them do more things for themselves.

"My country tis of thee...."

Well, the first week of school for Braden and JJ went off without a hitch. Unless you call me scrambling around every freaking night for yet MORE school supplies a hitch. The middle school sends home a letter a few weeks before school starts with a list of the supplies Braden will need for each class. Easy. High school doesn't do that. And, JJ doesn't have the same classes every day, so each day he'd come home and need more things. And, since he has football practice everyday after school, he doesn't get home until around 7:oo. For his engineering class he needed toothpicks, because they're building a bridge. Not just any toothpicks, but a specific brand. That was a fun night driving from store to store looking for Forester brand toothpicks. Engineering teacher, kiss my ass.
And, there seems to be a shortage of Book Sox around here. I've been to at least six different places and can't find them anywhere. Staples, KMart, Walmart, CVS, RiteAid, Dollar Store. I may have to resort to paperbag bookcovers.....if I even remember how to make them.

And now, for your entertainment, a few interesting responses from my students:
L, a 17 yr old in my class, loves to work on things. He's always taking bikes and go karts apart and fixing them. He told me he got a job over the summer working at a car garage near him. I said, "That's great, L, that's right up your alley." "No Miss," he replied, "it's a block up the road."
After the Miss South Carolina debacle, I made all my kids put their heads down and one by one walk up to the map and show me where the US was. The good news, they were all able to do it. Here's the bad news, the last one, my only girl, said, "I don't feel like getting up, but it's the green one on the map, right between Columbia and Mexico." Oh well.

During an Assessment test, I had to ask another boy the following question: How many ways are there to arrange 4 books on 1 bookshelf? After thinking about it for a while, he said, "By size, by color, alphabetically, and by genre." That one cracked me up. And I replied, "you know the word genre? I'm giving you credit for this one."

"Telephone line, give me some time, Im living in twilight"

Hey gang!
I don't have much to report.
My peephone is still working, so that makes me happy. And it hardly stinks at all. Just kidding, it doesn't stink. I have pee that smells like perfume.
We have a damn ground hog that dug under my foundation. We've always had them in our field, and Keith has been wanting to shoot them, but I always say no because I think groundhogs are cute. Now I've changed my mind. We're getting some guy to come and trap it, and he'll take it somewhere else and drop it off.
Braden and JJ start school on Tuesday. Braden's excited because, in his words, "I haven't seen a cute girl in so long, I forget what they look like". JJ, not so much.
I've had students since Monday. A lot of returning kids from last year. It's nice to hear, "Hi Miss. I missed you this summer." And, only two of them got arrested over the summer, so I guess that's good news.

"Slip sliding away..."

Yesterday I took JJ to an early football practice, then I went grocery shopping with Braden (always a treat). I came home to put the groceries away and wait for JJ to call that practice was over. I had my cell phone in my back pocket.
After putting away the groceries, I went to the "powder room". When I finished, as I was pulling my pants up, I heard a "kerplunk". That's right. You guessed it. My phone fell out of my pocket and into the toilet.
I quickly retrieved it, but it was submerged. I have it all apart, hoping it will dry out and work. But, so far, nothing. It won't even turn on.
I am the luckiest person I know.

Dinner is served

This post is mainly for the "women of the house".

Do you make a cooked dinner every night of the week? Do you do all the cooking in your house? Is every meal a well balanced, well planned meal?
I cook at least five - six nights per week. Usually the other night is pizza or chinese. Most meals are a meat, a vegetable and a starch. Sometimes it's just burgers or hotdogs.
The other night I decided to do a "catch as catch can" as my mother used to call them. Everyone was on their own. There were frozen dinners in the freezer, lunch meat in the frig, leftovers, eggs, cereal....whatever.
I never did this before, and my family stood there looking at me like I had two heads. They survived the night, but it made me feel guilty for neglecting my responsibilities as a mom.
Do you ever do a "everybody for themselves" dinner?

"It's raining men...." (not really, thank god)

Yesterday was my first day back to work. It sucked to have the alarm go off at 5:20, but it was good to see everyone again. The teacher I work with got married over the summer. He and his wife both work there. She just got promoted to the Asst. Principal position. It was funny, he showed me pictures from their honeymoon. Later in the afternoon, I got called down to her office and I thought to myself, "now what do they want me to do?", but she wanted to show me their wedding pictures. They were beautiful. A very simple, elegant wedding. We got a new Mental Health Worker in our classroom, and, in my opinion, we have the best team in the whole school.
When I was leaving work yesterday, I heard this strange noise on the skylights...I thought someone was up there working on the roof. Here we were having a hail storm. Golfball sized. I had to stand outside under the entrance for a while before it stopped and I could run to my car, which of course, had the windows down! I got to drive home sitting in a nice puddle of water. Thank god for leather seats!
I wish I had something exciting to regale you with, but alas, this is it. Now that the passport dilemma is over, the vacation has come and gone, the kitchen is nearly finished, and my hair is cut, I'm back to my normal, boring life.

"Summer dreams ripped at the seams"

I can't believe the summer has come and gone. Well, not technically, but for me. I go back to work in two days. Where did the time go? JJ started his two-a-day football practices this week, meaning I've had to get up at 6:am....So, that part won't be so bad, I'll kind of be used to it.

My book group meets Friday night. I look forward to it, as I enjoy spending time with these ladies. We had to read "Water for Elephants" which I really didn't want to read, but found myself loving. If you haven't read it, I recommend it.

Yesterday I had two girls from the Children's Home over to swim. I met them when I was asked to transport them to a supervised visit with their mother. One is 11 and the other just turned 13. They started calling me Aunt Michelle after the second transport. The 13 year old is very needy. All day yesterday, "Aunt Michelle this, Aunt Michelle that." Their foster mom dropped them off at about 1:00, and I practically had to kick them out at 8:00. "We don't want to go. Can't we stay longer? Can we come back tomorrow? Can we come and live with you? We love it here." I explained that there's not enough room for them to live here, but even if they did, they wouldn't love it as much. They asked me to be their foster mom, even though I know the one they have is a darn good one. I told them it would be better if I were just their foster aunt (especially since that what they call me anyway). The 11 year old goes to school with afro's daughter, so I had her over too. I haven't watched young girls interact since Renee was young. Now I'm surrounded by boys and what a difference! "Eww, Aunt Michelle, there's a bug in the pool!"

Today I have to do laundry, and clean my car, inside and out. It's a mess.

Ta Da!

Here it is. It's 95% done. The first picture is the view you get when you walk in from the garage. The second picture is the view from the back door. The third one is standing at one end, looking through to the other. I'm really happy with it. There are a few odds and ends to be done yet...the cabinet to hold the fan above the stove needs to be built, the trim has to go up around the floors, door and window. I have to get curtains and new bar stools (I want wicker and wrought iron ones, but haven't been able to find them, so I'm using my old mismatched ones). I also need some sort of tube or bracket to hold the wires at the desk area.

Can you notice what's up on the computer?

You see my $25 loveseat?

Emma, do you see my cat that looks just like Nesta?

What do you think?

"Gimme a head with hair, long beautiful hair, Shining, gleaming,Streaming, flaxen, waxen"

Yesterday was Braden's birthday. 14. He had a Airsoft/swimming party. About seven kids showed up. Now, I know it's supposed to be about spending time with your friends on your special day, but only one kid showed up with a card for him. He was so disappointed. He had planned what he was going to buy with the money he'd get from his guests. He handled it way better than I thought he would/could. I would never send Braden to a birthday party empty handed. JJ and his friends built a huge bunker at the edge of the woods last week, and they played "capture the flag" with airsoft guns, but they actually played "capture the sprinkler". I could hear them yelling, "we have the package, get it to the base stat!"

I have an appointment today to get my haircut and colored. I haven't had anything professionally done to it in a few years, since I've been letting it grow. It's past my shoulders now. I always want long hair...it's so versatile. I can wear it up, or down. Throw it in a ponytail when I wake up. I want to get some layers cut in it, because it's so long now that the only way I can wear it down is competely straight. I was looking online for pictures of long layered hair, and the only pictures I really liked were of short hair. Now I'm torn. Do I cut off two years worth of "growing out", to get the short cut I really like the best, or do I just stick with my original plan of layers. I know the logical answer is to get the layers this time, then if I'm still not happy, go with a shorter cut. But, I'm far too rash for logical thinking. I keep looking at the picture I printed and love it more each time. Is it wrong that I can type more about my hair, then about my son's birthday? Pros to short hair: less time in the shower, less shampoo/conditioner, less time drying/straightening/curling. Pros to long hair: versatility. I know that's only one pro, but it's a biggie to someone who likes change as much as me. Although if I could only wear it one way, it would cut down on one decision I have to make every morning before I go to work. I'm thinking about Tracee while I type this, because I imagine she would just make the decision and get the most cutting edge haircut, and color, without so much as a second thought.

******Update...the picture on the top is the picture I was originally talking about, but I've since found the picture on the bottom...I think I'll go with that one (first anyway). ********

I hope some of you read this blog before I have to go to my appointment at 2:30.

Oh, and my kitchen isn't finished yet. Don't ask.

Too lazy to look for lyrics

So far, Braden's still at scout camp. He calls a couple of times a day, but he sounds like he's having fun. He's going for his camping, environmental science and sailing merit badges. Keith's going up tomorrow night and staying over with him for the big "chili cook off". Odds are that when he comes home Friday night, Braden will be with him.
My kitchen is progressing. The electricians are finished (but left me a mess when they cut in one of the pendant lights over my sink incorrectly, now I have a nice hole I have to patch/spackle/repaint.) My new countertop is in. Trim guy came and measured yesterday. At the end of this week the rest of my cabinets should go in. I'm really happy with it! You might recall that last summer I was on a kick that I wanted to put regular furniture in my kitchen, like a loveseat, or a big comfy chair. The other day I saw a yellow leather loveseat on Craig's list for sale for $25. Keith and I went to look at it. It's not exactly pretty, but it is kind of old looking. Probably from the 70's. The color works and the size works. Keith hated it immediately and didn't want to buy it. I told him that we could happily stop at a furniture store on the way home and buy a brand new one, and suddenly this one didn't look too bad, so we bought it. It just needs a couple of throw pillows and it will look great in there.
Remember back in March when my back went out? Well, it hasn't been exactly right since then. Every morning when I wake up I have this terrible pain in my right hip that goes across my lower back. Sometimes during the day the pain shoots down my leg and makes my thigh feel numb. Yesterday I weeded all my beds (and that's a lot) and today I am in agony. I've already taken a pain pill (nothing too strong, just prescription strength motrin), and it still hurts. I don't really have anything much planned for the day, thank goodness. Just a friend coming over to swim. I think I can handle that.
My kids have decided that I need to go on The Singing Bee. When we watch, I know all the lyrics. Not that I'll be in California anytime soon, but if I were I know that I'd go on there and they'd play songs that I don't know. It's always easier from the sofa.

Here's a picture of my kitchen floor. It's African Gold Slate. I love it! Otherwise, progress is moving along..slowly but surely. I have some base cabinets, my island, A WORKING SINK!!!! and a stove. Today they're coming to install my new countertop. Then we need the wall cabinets to be hung, the desk and cabinet around the frig to be built, and a microwave "cubby" installed and the electricians to come back and finish the lighting. Then trim work is all that's needed. Hopefully all this will happen within the next week or two.

Braden left today for boy scout camp. The game plan is for him to be there until Saturday. We'll see if that actually happens. While he's gone, I plan to "dejunk" his bedroom. He's a big collector of, let's see, how should I put this, oh yeah, CRAP.

Next Sunday we're all going to a Yankee's baseball game. But, my oldest son called on Friday and said he's coming for a visit over that weekend, so I'll offer my ticket to him. I'm sure he'd much rather see the game than I would. There's a whole busfull of people going, and I was only going to socialize. (There Jilly, are you happy I mentioned him).

Other than that, I don't have much else to report. I go back to work on the 17th of August...the summer goes so quickly, and I didn't get done all that I usually do. Oh well, there's always Christmas break.

Here's what was disappointing about our vacation. The resort itself.

First of all, the part that ticked me off the most...the resort boasted free water activities. Glass bottom boat rides, snorkeling, parasailing, kayaking, wind surfing, etc. Braden really wanted to learn to snorkel, and that was part of the appeal of this resort. Well, we came to find out that while snorkeling is free, the use of the equipment and the boat ride out to the snorkeling area is not. So much for free snorkeling. They charged $20/person for a half an hour. The only water activities that were completely free was the kayaking and boggie boarding.

We wound up getting this local guy, who lived in a shack next to the resort, to take us snorkeling. It was wonderful. We walked to this little lagoon area of the beach where there were virtually no waves, and he taught Braden and JJ how to snorkel. He took his time with them, and they really enjoyed the experience. Of course we had to pay him $15 a person, but they snorkeled for close to an hour, and he actually taught them how to snorkel. Plus, if we were in need of starfish, shells, aloe, or weed, we could go to the same guy.

When we booked this trip, it was advertised as "all inclusive". There are three restaurants and a buffet. Some of the restaurants had items that you'd have to pay an upcharge for, but most of what was offered was included. Not so. The buffet was the only thing completely included. Sure, one of the other restaurants had a couple of choices that were included, but the majority were upcharged by about $15 a piece....so that would mean spending $60 for the four of us to eat at an all-inclusive resort. We did that two nights, and the food was good, but it just wasn't in the budget to do it every night.

We arrived at the resort on Saturday, and on Sunday when we went to take showers, we noticed that the showerhead sprayed all over the bathroom. We reported it to the front desk. The next day it was still the same, only this time the head flew off when we turned the shower on. Also, the toilet kept running. And running. Keith had to keep going in there, lifting the lid off the tank and fixing it. We reported that too. Finally, on Wednesday, the plumber came and fixed both problems. Wednesday! We started reporting it on Sunday.

Also, and this might seem small, but, we had a room booked for 4 people. Everyday, we had either no washcloths, or 2 washcloths. What the heck?

The main pool, the sports pool, is where we spent a lot of time. Playing volleyball, pool olympics, etc. The ladder to get out of the pool was missing a step, and the top step was loose. While it was amusing to sit there and watch unsuspecting people climb out of the pool at first, it's obviously a safety issue. The ladder was like that for our entire stay. Never fixed. One of the pool's interior lights kept coming out of it's socket and falling to the bottom of the pool. Someone would report it, one of the employees would climb in and fix it, but the next day it would pop out again.

Now, one other thing that slightly annoyed me. I was telling Allan this....no one offered to sell me any pot. Not that I smoke pot, or wanted to buy some, but am I so "mom" looking, that no one even asked? C'mon....give me a break.

So, while we enjoyed our vacation, it wasn't because we enjoyed the resort so much. I wouldn't go to that resort again, trust me.

"One love, one heart...."

What a great vacation we had!!
The weather was beautiful...I couldn't have ordered any better. The kids had a blast. The resort was along a gorgeous stretch of beach. The ocean water was so warm, it was like wading in clear, green bath water. We all had a great time. The kids met other kids from England, Canada and Jamaica and really enjoyed hanging out with them and learning new phrases. By the end of the week, Braden was speaking with a bit of an English accent.

Braden leared to swing from a trapeze, JJ went jet skiing, we all kayaked and Keith and the kids learned to snorkel. There were a couple of negative things with the resort, but I'll post them in a different post, because I want this one to be POSITIVE POSITIVE POSITIVE!

We ate, we drank, we relaxed, we played. We went shopping in these little shacks next to the resort where people sold crafts, shells, etc. One of them was painted to look like a big bullseye, which I thought was odd, until I looked at the sign hanging above the door. It said, Target. Upon closer inspection, some of the other shops were named Walmart, Sears, Tiffany and Walgreens. I wish I would have had my camera with me for that little walk.

We also went on an evening boat ride to the Luminous Lagoon where there are microscopic organisms in the water that emit a phosphorescent light when you agitate the water. It looks like you glow in the dark. I'll post some pictures, but I'm not very good at getting them to show up where I want them.

All in all, it was a wonderful trip that we all enjoyed very much!

"Oh happy day"

I changed my blog layout, and added some pictures on the side. What do you think?

Construction is continuing. While we're away, my slate floor will be installed and I'm promised that when I come back, we'll have an island (with a working sink) and a stove, at the very least. I'm really tired of cooking on the grill. I primed and painted the entire space. A nice, soft yellow. A very different choice for me, as I usually go with bold colors. But I like it.

Now that we FINALLY have all the paperwork needed for our vacation, we're all getting thoroughly excited. Yesterday I started putting aside all the clothes we'll be taking, called the boarder for the dog, and arranged for the neighbor kid to come and feed the cats, and water my plants. I'm looking forward to relaxing, being waited on, and eating real meals! We leave Friday night and won't be back until late next Saturday. I expect you all to behave while I'm gone. Wait, who am I kidding, no I don't. Thanks to all of you for your positive thoughts while we were in limbo!

WE GOT IT!!!
We got JJ's passport. We got in line at 4:30 this morning (we slept in the car in a parking garage last night....it was extremely hot and uncomfortable-but well worth it) and by 1:pm we had the passport! Now we can get excited about vacation!
And, some of the horror stories from people in line. The guy in front of me is from Jordan, but he's a citizen. The rest of his family is still in Jordan. He and his wife are traveling over there and leaving Thursday. They're going for his brother's wedding. The entire wedding was planned around when the wife could get off work and fly over, since the family has never met her. They applied for her passport in March. Every time they try to check it online, it says, "pending". So, they drove 7 hours from Pittsburgh, stayed in a hotel, and spent hours in line this morning. When they got inside, they were told that Fed Ex had her passport and it was being delivered to her house this morning! She just started laughing like a crazy person when they told her. I can still hear that laugh.

I have finally received, and have in a very safe place, the notarized letter from DHS saying that I can apply for a passport for JJ. I called the Passport hotline on June 30th, as my buddy Justin from Arlen Specter's office told me to do, and the first available appointment was for July 10th at 10:30. We leave on the 13th! But, I took it. I called Justin back, and he said that that shouldn't be a problem because I will get the passport the same day. We were all on cloud nine. JJ was finally getting excited about the vacation (he's amazed that everything is included, and that he won't have to make his bed for a whole week!).

The plumbers came back, and the electricians did their thing. The drywall guys were here for a few days and it's ready to be primed and painted.

Yesterday, Justin called me again. He said he wanted to give me a REALITY CHECK. The past few days he hadn't been able to get through on the "congressional hotline" at the passport office, he thinks they have the phone off the hook. He heard they were turning people away, even if they had appointments. He said that just because my appointment was for 10:30, I should plan on going early. I told him that I thought I'd get there about an hour early, and he said I should go even earlier than that. He told me he'd just received a call from a guy who got in Philly about 5:am for his appointment that was supposed to be sometime in the morning. The guy said when he got there, there was already a line formed all the way down the sidewalk. He was able to get his passport, but he'd already applied, and was only going to pick it up in person.

Now I'm worried again. I planned to leave around 8:am, but now I think I'll have to leave hours earlier than that. The kids want to go down the night before, and sleep in line like we're going to a concert or waiting for a new video game. I don't even know if you're allowed to do that. Plus, it's in downtown Philadelphia...is it safe to do that? They think it's an adventure. I think it's going to be dangerous. Plus, as fun as they think it might be, at three in the morning, when they can't sleep and they're tired and hungry, they're not going to think it's fun anymore, and I especially know how Braden gets. I wish I was familiar with the area. JJ said it's not a bad area, so we'd be safe. Don't get me wrong, I'd do anything to get him his passport, I'd camp out all night...but I don't know if having the kids do that is such a smart idea. Although, if we did it, and got his passport, wouldn't that be a great story for them to tell?!

Today I have to wipe down all the newly spackled drywall, then paint primer on it, and the old kitchen walls. But first I have to move all of my old kitchen stuff that I have in boxes and piles out of the attached dining area and into the living room because the dining area has to be painted too. Tomorrow I'm painting the actual color on the walls (whisper yellow). But, as things naturally go for me, I've run into a problem. I planned on painting the ceiling the same as the walls, since the color is so light, that way I won't have to cut in....I HATE CUTTING IN! But, the way my house is designed, it's one celing through the whole downstairs. Where do I stop the yellow? Would it look strange to have a straight line down the entrance, where the eye thinks the dining area ends and the living room begins? Even if I do paint it white, the white paint that's on the ceiling now is five years old, and I don't even know what it was called. New white paint is never going to match. I still don't know what I'm going to do. And, I'm painting it tomorrow!

Why is everything so complicated? Family vacation....not so fast Miss Smarty Pants! Paint the kitchen, will you? We'll see how that goes! It's truly a miracle that I don't drink.

Per Emma's request

<---Here's a picture of the mural I did a few years ago....some of you may have already seen it.

The other one is a painting (not a mural) I'm working on now. It's nearly done. I have to do a little more work on the shadow, and maybe add some detail of some kind on the orange-ish building.

I thought I'd update you a little on the kitchen redo. First of all, this is what the kitchen looked like before we began....





The second picture is what it looked like midway through the demolition.


Now, keep in mind, we're not doing anything to the section where the table and chairs are in the first picture. They're removing the wall in the second picture, to open it up to the new part. Since then, it's been plumbed, wired and insulated. Drywall is going to start going up tomorrow. Next week, it's getting primed and painted, then, while we're on vacation, the cabinets are going to start going back in. After that, the floor goes in, then it should be done. I thought it would be done in June, now it looks like August till it's completely finished.

"Happy birthday to you..."

Today is Keith's birthday. Despite the fact that I have no kitchen, I'm having family over tonight for a little something to eat and some cake. Normally I would cook all day, making a meal and appetizers, but since I can't, I'm ordering in. Chinese food and ice cream cake. I only have to worry about my dad and afro, since neither of them likes Chinese food. I'll throw a couple of burgers on the grill for them.

There are actually workers here today, working on the kitchen. Electricians and cabinet guys. The cabinet guys pulled out my island, and took the dishwasher out....you should have seen the crap on the floor under there. I was mortified. They said, "Don't worry, they all look like that." Tomorrow the plumbers come back, then Keith can insulate. Next week the dry wall guy is coming. After that, it should go quickly. The stone mason came yesterday and he should be calling early this week with a price on a slate floor. I hope it's in the budget, because I have my heart set on slate now.

We went to this discount home supply place on Saturday and found a Jacuzzi brand toilet and pedestal sink for the basement bathroom. $250 for the set. That's quite a deal!! That's me, I'm all about saving the money ~~0~~0~~!

I got the kids' report cards last week. JJ had mostly B's, an A or two and one C. Braden had all B's, and two A's. Pretty good, especially since Braden's 3rd marking period report card was all C's and D's. I never thought I'd have a kid who got D's on his report card. I was always A's and B's. I'm proud of both of them!

On Saturday I have to call the passport agency to make an appointment to get JJ's passport. Rono was in the shelf the other night, and he said he applied for an expedited one, and got it within two weeks, so I have some hope.

That's it for now from boring housewife land.

"Bad luck, it's what you got, it's what you got..."

I am so terribly stressed. It's absolutely ridiculous.

My kitchen has sat for a week without one thing being done to it. The plumbers came two weeks ago and did what they had to do.....completely wrong! So, we can't do anything else until they come back and fix what they screwed up. And, because they won't be getting paid to repair their own error, I know we're at the bottom of their to-do list. I've decided to go with a real slate flooring instead of something that just looks like slate. The price is almost the same, so why go imitation?

Now, as for our vacation. What a total fucking mess. I thought that since I didn't get JJ's birth certificate until four weeks before we left, the only way to get it in time was to go in person and apply and pay for an expedited passport. I called the passport office (After trying five separate times, and waiting on hold for over an hour I got to actually speak with a live person) and they said that I can't apply for his passport, his legal guardian has to. That would be DHS. I'm still trying to get ahold of them. Also, the passport guy told me that even going in person isn't going to guarantee a passport, or even that it will be processed enough to print out the statement on line that is supposedly all you need until September. He recommended a Passport Expediting Company. There aren't any listed in the phone book, and there are a lot on line, but how do I know if it's legit? They all seem legit (said the senior citizen as she was emptying her bank account). I'm worried that I'll send his birth certificate, and all the other documentation in and they'll cash my check and laugh. Then I'm really screwed, because I don't have another birth certificate. I called my local congressman, who referred me to my state senator, to see if they could tell me of a legitmate expediter, I'm waiting for his call back. We're leaving in three weeks. This is never going to come all together. Why didn't the Children's Home, back in December when we started talking about this trip, tell us that we could run into these problems? We never would have booked it. We would have kept it to somewhere in the United States.

If it weren't for bad luck, I'd have no luck at all.

"If I could turn back time..."

You know, most of the time I'm fairly content with my life. Most of the time. But there are other times when I think there has to be a mistake somewhere.

A lot of times I think I was supposed to be a man. I'm not really sentimental - I don't go for greeting cards and remember anniversaries, I don't want to cuddle after sex, I don't like a lot of small talk...the things men are stereotypically accused of. But then, I love clothes and makeup, so, I guess I am not supposed to be a man.

Today was my last day of work for this school year. A good majority of the staff went out for a couple of drinks after work. We were having such a great time, I was laughing and laughing. My cheeks hurt a couple of times. It was a really, really good time. But, it was also Braden's last day of school, hence his last day of school party. I had to leave because Keith was stuck home alone with 40 13 year olds (and not because Keith said I had to, just because it wouldn't be fair to be out enjoying myself while Keith was trying to keep an eye on all those kids by himself). As I was leaving, I had this overwhelming feeling of resentment. I don't want to be 45 years old. This must be some sort of mistake. I can't be 45 years old. I'm young. I don't want to be married with kids and a mortgage. I want to be 25 with my own cute little apartment. I don't want to chaperone parties, I want to be at a party. I was in a real funk for a couple of hours. I'm tired of being old. I want to be young and carefree. I want to stay out too late, not be in bed by ten every night. I want to not check the pantry and refrigerator before I go to the store, shit, I don't even want to have a pantry. I want to wear a skimpy shirt, not something that covers as much of me as possible.

I'm sure I'll be over it by tomorrow.
I hope I'm over it by tomorrow.

Time flies when you're having fun. Or chaos.

Wow! It has been a while since I updated. Things are really crazy around here. My old kitchen is completely ripped out, and the addition is on. Well, there are walls, a roof and a sub-floor. The electrician and plumber have to come. Then Keith's putting in the insulation. Then the dry-wall guy. Then I have to paint. I'm thinking some type of golden color. Then the cabinets have to go in. (Actually, the cabinets have to be built, but hopefully that will happen while the wiring/plumbing is being done) I'm reusing the cabinets I already have, which are cherry with this greyish pickled oak insets. I think the new cabinets that will go in the island, and the desk I'm having built will be out of the pickled oak. Then we have to get the floors installed. So, I should have a kitchen in about a month. I hope it's not longer than that.

I've run into an aesthetic problem. They had to put a support beam in since the wall we took down was a load bearing wall. The problem is that the beam runs diagonally through the island where the sink is. It screws up what I wanted to do with the lighting, and the general look I was going for. I'm assured that once it's drywalled, and painted to match the ceiling it won't be that noticeable, but I have my doubts. Also, I can't decide on a floor. I want something that looks like a tuscan slate...with the greens, oranges and greys. We can't afford genuine slate, and I can't decide if I want a laminate or a tile product. I'm going to have to decide quickly.

School's winding down for everyone. JJ's last day is Monday, Braden and I on Wednesday. Braden is planning on having his annual last day of school swim party. That should go swimmingly (pardon the pun) since I don't have a kitchen.

I DID just finish reading "The Other Boleyn Girl". I really liked it and now I feel like I need more information on Anne Boleyn and Henry VIII.

We finally got JJ's birth certificate and permission for him to go with us. What a hassle all that was. Now I have to get him a passport. I know I'm going to have to go to Philly and apply for an expedited one in person, but I can't seem to find out if I am allowed to do this. I mean, will the agency let me apply for it, or do I have to have someone from the Children's Home or DHS apply for it? I wish I would have realized all this before we booked the trip. We have a month to get everything in order, and sometimes I doubt it will happen. Keep your fingers crossed. Well, keep them crossed twice. Once for this, and once for a speedy kitchen remodel.

A redunless post

I have book group tonight. We had to read The Tenth Circle by Jodi Picoult. It was okay. Nothing I'd recommend. The woman who is hosting tonight lives in what has to be a million dollar home. It's beautiful. I love just sitting in her family room and looking around. Plus, she serves the best food!
Today at school my students got to throw pies at our principal. They were so excited. I only had seven kids show up today, and there were 20 pies, so they each got to throw a couple. What a blast. The kids were laughing, and the principal was covered in chocolate pudding.
I'm instituting an Honor Roll for our kids next year. We have to do some things for these kids to help their self-esteem. So what if they're only reading at a third grade level, they still should get some recognition for doing their work well.
I enjoyed my day off on Tuesday. When I went to work on Wednesday, the kids asked me what I did. I told them I did some things around the house, then I sat on the patio and read. One boy (the one who wanted to marry me) said, "Miss, you really have the life." "What do you mean," I asked. "Well, you have a patio, and books, and that field where your kids can ride the four-wheeler. That's really lucky." Simple comments like that can really make you think. Another one of my students pulled a nutty while I was off, and had to be restrained. He told me it was because I wasn't there to calm him down.
We went to the foster care picnic the other day, and Keith and I got called up and were given a certificate for going "above and beyond" and for being so involved with the kids there, and especially with JJ. It was nice to get the recognition. When we got home, JJ said that before they called us up, when they were just describing what the award was for, he said to himself, "this better be for Miss and Keith or I'm going to be pissed."
I have Braden's IEP meeting next Tuesday. That should be a real treat. He didn't have such a great year this year, so I'll get to sit there for an hour and hear about him not working up to his potential. Ya think??? I'm soooo looking forward to it.
Some of my students have started making up words, and they're dying for it to catch on. One of the kids says Redunless all the time. It means stupid. So I try to use it often. I started saying Ridiculi, but I use it like ridiculous. He gets pissed because some of the other teachers started saying ridiculi too. I told him that the other day my husband came home from work and was complaining about gas prices and he said that one of his work buddies said it was ridiculi. The kid's mouth dropped open, and he thought for a minute, then he said,"Does his friend use the work redunless too?"

There are no lyrics this boring

I almost feel badly posting this, because I don't really have anything exciting to say. But I'll fill you in on the dribble that is my day to day life for the past week.
It looks like JJ will be able to go to Jamaica. The Home convinced his DHS caseworkers that there is no flight risk, and we just have to get a letter signed my his mom saying it's okay to take him. They could have done it over the phone, except she never answers the phone when anyone calls her (JJ says she's probably out of minutes). Can you imagine not being able to talk to your kids because you're out of minutes?
They started on the kitchen addition...the subfloor is in, and the walls will be going up next. I'm having a hard time deciding what kind of lights I want over the island. It will be a lot bigger than the island I have now, which has two pendant lights hanging over it. I like the lights, but I would need more for a bigger island, and I'm afraid if I just add two more, it will look like it's raining over the island. So, I think I have to pick something else out.
I'm counting down the days until school's over. I believe there are 12 more full days, and 6 half days. Not that I don't love my job, but I enjoy the summer to get caught up around the house, sleep in and not have to deal with my grumpy kids in the morning.
I took a personal day today. I have book group Friday night, and I haven't even started the book, so I plan on doing a couple of things around the house, then spending the afternoon in the sun, reading. Yes, I'll wear sunscreen, Emma. Later we have a picnic to go to at the Children's Home for all the foster families.

The other day Keith asked me to bring home a vanilla folder from work.
To quote Roger, "Sadly, I'm not making this up."

"Would you dance with me today, I'll show you how to have a good time...."

I haven't got much to report this week.

The builder was here, to begin the outside work for our kitchen remodel, but he found some bad news when he started ripping the siding off the back of the house...there are all sorts of pipes/return lines running through that wall. I may have to reconfigure my layout, because it seems like I'm going to have to have two 32" deep walls running up each side of the kitchen between the addition and the existing kitchen. It kind of defeats the purpose of having one big kitchen, but I'll have to see what I can come up with.

Someone asked me to marry them at school this week. A wonderful hispanic eighteen year old with long, long hair, braces and an ankle monitoring device. After thoroughly considering his offer, I had to decline. He took it well. One of my co-workers is getting a divorce and it's all I hear about. She's in her early thirties, and suddenly is behaving like a 21 year old...drinking every night, coming to work hungover and making googly eyes at all the male staff. She's really making a fool of herself, and I feel kind of bad.

I had to send a written itinerary of our vacation plans to JJ's DHS caseworker, who said she'd try to get our trip approved. Our fingers are crossed.

Last weekend, I got my front flower beds all cleaned out/deweeded/raked...now I have to do the back, and the end of the driveway. That's on my list for tomorrow. My neighbor called me this morning because she found her husband's to-do list sitting in her kitchen. Along with the usual stuff...mowing the lawn, changing the oil, etc, was written blow job. While she found it amusing, she went ahead and crossed it off so as not to get his hopes up.

you're screwed.

Mum's blog reminded me of this.
My kids have a really hard time...no that's too mild, they never refill the toilet paper roll. They have their own bathroom upstairs, so it's not that big of a deal, but downstairs in the powder room it really drives me nuts. But, the other day, I walked past their bathroom, and something caught my eye. I walked over to their empty tp cardboard roll there, and on it was written "you're screwed"...actually it said "your screwed" so I know Braden did it.
He can't take the time to put on another roll of tp, but he can come downstairs, get a marker and write his little message on there.

"You get up every morning From your alarm clock's warning"

It was kind of a humdrum week...which is a good thing, in my book. We all went back to school on Tuesday - believe it or not I was glad to go back. I was kind of tired of making pancakes/eggs/french toast every morning. JJ started at Nazareth full time. He really likes it. It's the first time he's been in a regular school in years. The high school cafeteria/school lunch really impressed him. "Miss, I can get pepperoni pizza every day!"
Braden and Keith are going on a scout camping trip next weekend. They're going to Orange County Choppers in New York. They're both looking forward to it (but I doubt as much as I am).
I went shopping Friday night to spend some of my birthday money. I went to TJ Maxx because I wanted to get shoes and a pocketbook. Usually, if I'm there for some other reason without extra money, I can find a few pair of shoes and handbags I love. I didn't find anything on Friday. I was pissed. I need a pair of springish shoes for work, but they can't have an open toe. I ws thinking of going back out today, but the weather here is horrible! Pouring, heavy wind....I think I'd be better off staying in and catching up on laundry.
Our kitchen remodel is supposed to start the first week of May. I might start packing up some of my kitchen stuff today too. Mostly the decorative things that I have on top of the cabinets and some of my serving pieces I rarely use. Plus, I might read some of the new book I bought..."Driving with Dead People".
Braden hasn't had a meltdown in weeks, and it's been very nice. We're all so much more relaxed.
Oh yeah, JJ was finally able to get a hold of his mom, so now we have all the information we need to apply for a birth certificate so we can get him a passport, in case we're able to go to Jamaica, we'll be all set.
That's about all I've got. Schell out.

"Baby what a big surprise"

I surely enjoyed my week off. I rented a couple of movies...I watched "Little Miss Sunshine" and "Running with Scissors"...loved them both. I also read The "Time Traveler's Wife" for my book group this month.

I started "housecleaning" the downstairs. Monday and Tuesday I took everything off the walls in the dining room, hallway and bathroom. Cleaned all the moldings, baseboards, light fixtures, etc. That took me two days. Then on Wednesday, I had to do transportation for the Children's Home...drive a 14 year old girl to Philadelphia for a supervised sibling visit. That wasn't too bad, except on the way there I got into a little fender bender. Hopefully the adjuster will be coming out today to give an estimate. Thursday, I was going to start cleaning again, but I started thinking that if we're ripping down a wall and remodeling the kitchen, everything's just going to get dusty again, so I may as well wait. That sounded good to me, so I stopped.

The rest of the week was pretty much uneventful. JJ decided he wanted to go visit his aunt, so we took him to the bus on Thursday. On Saturday we went to go pick him up from the bus station around 7:pm. After we got him, we arrived home and I walked through the back door and my house was full of my friends and family. "Surprise!" they all yelled. Braden and JJ had planned a surprise birthday party for me, and I was totally clueless. Earlier in the day, while I was preparing my desserts for Easter Sunday, Braden asked me, "Mom, would you make up some of that iced tea/lemonade punch for tomorrow? Everybody loves it." Of course I did. During the party he said, "I hope you know I lied to you. The punch was for tonight" I told him I didn't care. Braden and JJ did most of the work themselves. They took my address book upstairs one night and called all my friends, they told Keith what kind of food they wanted to have. When Keith and I ran to get JJ, Braden and my oldest son (who I thought had just come early for Easter) vacuumed the downstairs and did a quick cleanup. (I still can't find where they stashed half the things that were laying around) It was a very nice night. Except for all the "you're really old now" ribbing I took.

Yesterday my family came for Easter dinner. The day was fairly uneventful. Except the tea lady loaded her plate up so high, then was holding it crooked and half the stuff ran off onto the dining room floor. Keith yelled, "Jesus Christ, Jane" when he got up to fix it, which made her feel bad, but other than that, everything was nice. Except the weather. It was colder here yesterday than it was on Christmas day. That's a bunch of crap.

I got nothing, but I'm sure something will come to mind in about five minutes.

Today was my last day of work for ten days. This is the longest Easter break we've ever had. I plan to do some spring cleaning...walls and woodwork, maybe some painting, and sleep. That's all. Not much to ask. Sadly, Braden and JJ have the same long break, so I won't have any time to myself.

We had a meeting at the Children's Home last night, just our monthly sponsor/foster parent meeting, and the vice president asked Keith and I to stay behind after the meeting. During the meeting they mentioned that they have a 14 year old boy who never gets to leave the home, he has no family except a step-dad that calls him once in a while, and they're looking for a sponsor for him. Of course, my immediate reaction is, he can come and visit us, but I was a good girl and kept my mouth shut. But, what I didn't even consider is that my husband would say, "We'll do it." I've never even met this kid, but I'm told he's a real sweetie. Anyway, after the meeting, the vp said to us, off the record, "this whole thing with JJ and your vacation is bullshit. I'm going to do whatever I can to see that he can go with you. If it means I have to have our director call the DHS director, or the governor, we'll do it. Don't give up just yet." SO, that was encouraging.

Tonight we're going out to dinner, then to the home show with some friends. It should be a nice evening. Then after that, I'm doing nothing. NOTHING. Until next weekend when I have to have Easter dinner for about 20. But in between, N O T H I N G.

Time keeps on slippin, slippin, slippin

Sorry I haven't posted in a while...I'll bet you're all devastated.

A week ago Friday, I was making dinner, and I got up from the kitchen stool and something felt a little tingly in my back. No big deal, I thought. I'll put the heating pad on after dinner. Well, by the time we were done eating, I was in terrible pain. I wasn't able to get off the sofa until Monday, when the doctor called in script for pain pills and a muscle relaxer. Tuesday I went back to work, and it's much better now, but certain ways I move it still kills me. Sitting up is the hardest thing. I get this burning feeling in my hips, and down my thighs...and not in a good way. So, sitting at the computer hasn't exactly been tops on my list.

I took Braden for his EEG. I was so worried about having to get him up that early, and keeping him up. JJ offered to get up with him too, and thank goodness I agreed. They were playing video games at 4:30 in the morning. Around 6 we went out for breakfast, then walked around Walmart...even though my back was still killing me - but, it was better than the alternative. We went for the test, and I'm still waiting for the results.

We booked the trip for Jamaica. Two days later, the Children's Home calls to say that JJ is not allowed to leave the country. We've been telling them for months that we needed his birth certificate to get a passport. They don't have it, and even gave us the paperwork to apply for another one. It seems that the Home doesn't have a problem with him going, but DHS says that foster kids can't go outside the US, for fear that they'll be kidnapped by their foster parents. The Children's Home is trying to fight this for us, but I don't know what will happen. It's really a shame. Of course, we could go somewhere else, inside the US, but now we'll lose over $2300 if we cancel that trip. Talk about a quagmire. And, JJ's reaction: "Miss, you can't lose all that money because of me. Just go without me." We told him that the whole idea of this is a family vacation, and if he wasn't there, it wouldn't be our whole family.

Braden's been mostly under control. A few small outbursts here and there, but way better than he was. Soon we'll be starting that in-home-family therapy, so hopefully then things will be even better.

That's about all I have for now. I can't believe it's been this long since I posted. Time flies when you're flat on your back. Shut up Emma.

"All by myself..."

JJ went to his aunt's for the weekend, and Braden is on a camping trip to West Point with the Scouts until tomorrow, so I have the afternoon to myself. I'm forcing myself not to do any cleaning, to just kind of relax. Later, Keith and I have a wedding to go to, so that should be fun. You know what he'll want later, though, don't you?

I feel badly for JJ. He wanted to go to his aunt's this weekend, because it's his mom's birthday, and they were having a party for her. He was going to get to see her, and some of his siblings that he hasn't seen for over a year. She called him on Thursday to say that he didn't have to go because she was going out of town for the weekend, and wouldn't be there anyway. He told me that it only made him a little mad, but I know better. Apparently this is par for the course with her.

We've gone a whole week without a major meltdown here. Everyone's on edge, because we're expecting it, and have a feeling that it's going to be a duzy. However, it's nice to be able to relax just a bit. Braden's still no ray of sunshine, but at least his little episodes are only lasting about 5 minutes and there's no hitting/punching/kicking.

I have to take him for an EEG on the 22nd. Here are the pre-EEG steps: Keep Braden up until midnight the night before. Wake him up at 4:am and keep him awake until the 12:30 test. WHAT THE??? Oh, but I can give him his meds. I asked the receptionist if she had any meds for me, but she just laughed as if I were joking. That's going to be a really fun day.

"put the lime in the coconut, drink it all up"

What a couple of weeks!

Three weeks ago, I took Braden for his blood work, and his medicine level was non-therapuetic, so the doctor upped it one level...still a very low dose for this particular medicine and Braden's symptoms. After a few days, I noticed Braden talking a little strangely. Not exactly slurring, but speaking slowly and repeating himself. Braden's always been a bit strange, and as sad as it sounds, I just chalked it up to "braden-ness". The next day one of his teachers called me, and said that she noticed that for a few days he seems to be really out of it. Just sitting at his desk, not doing any work. Kind of staring into space. She talked to his other teachers, and they confirmed it. He flunked a social studies test by only getting 10 out of 50 correct...and it was all multiple choice!
He seemed a little slurry after school, so I called his doctor who said to not give him his meds that night, or the next morning and then call his office. The next morning I got him up for school and didn't notice anything out of the ordinary...he's always miserable in the morning, and hardly says a word other than to bitch about having to go to stupid gay school. I got a call at work at lunchtime..it seems that Braden was wandering around the cafeteria with his tray and didn't have any idea where his seat was. They called the nurse, who called me. I went to pick him up. He was really out of it, and very embarrassed.
I called the doctor again who wanted him to go without any meds for the rest of the day, and the next day and to bring him in.
I took Friday off, because no one wants to be around an unmedicated Braden, so I couldn't send him to school. We took him to the doctor in the afternoon. He switched his meds again. Of course it would be days before we know if it's working. He had to go have an EKG for this new medicine, which Braden thought was pretty cool. The doctor also wants him to go for an EEG. He said that lithium sensitivity to the extreme that Braden had it, is not very common, except in seizure patients. He said that there's a slight chance that while Braden doesn't seizure, something in his brain could be just on the edge of seizure, causing his brain to be "on edge" all the time. Then when something a little frustrating happens, he competely over-reacts because his brain was half-way there to begin with. We'll see if that's the case.
Since Sunday, he hasn't been too bad. He's exploded a couple of times, but the result has been a little swearing, maybe a throwing of a shirt or something like that, but within five minutes he's back to himself...for what that's worth. If it keeps going like this, I'm going to start working on some of the things that we've let slip lately (to keep a little bit of peace in the house). He's a little upset, because kids keep asking him if he's on drugs now, because that's the rumor going around school.

Last night, he came in my bedroom at 10:30 to tell me that he picked out his clothes for school, and loaded his bookbag and had his ipod sitting with his hoodie so his morning would go easier. Then he actually kissed me (on the cheek) goodnight.

We had so much running around this weekend....birthday parties, basketball games, a basketball banquet...that I didn't get anything done. My house is a mess. There's a pile of mail/papers stacked on the island that's a foot tall. The floors need to be vacuumed, laundry is half-done...and there's more piling up upstairs. I hate it like this, but I just haven't had time.

On other fronts, as silly as this sounds compared to all this drama, the basement remodel has begun. It's studded out, and the plumbing/heating/electrical is done. As soon as it's wired for surround sound, the insulation will go up, then it will be dry walled. I can't believe how expensive flooring is. We've been pricing carpet for down there, and tile/laminate/who-the-hell-knows for the kitchen, and I'm aghast at the prices.

Also, the people we were going to go on vacation with to Virginia with this summer had to cancel because their son is going to football camp, so we're looking into doing something else. So far our options are: going to the Jersey Shore with other friends, going to Florida to go to Universal Studios, and going to an all-inclusive resort in Jamaica. The shore would be fun, but after paying for a yucky room for a week, then all the spending money to eat all week, do the boardwalk, etc, it would wind up costing about $3000 to be two hours away from home. And the Jersey shore isn't even that nice of a beach...I hate the ocean there. We could do a week in Florida, hit the parks and stay at a decent hotel for $4000 (including food and spending money). The resort in Jamaica is all-inclusive and loaded with teen activities...snorkeling, jet skiing, arcade, teen disco, pool tables in the pool, etc and would cost a total of $5000. It would be tight to do that trip, but the upside is, it would cost virtually nothing once we got there, and the kids would have a blast. Not that I'd mind sitting on the white sand beaches with my feet dangling in the clear water, reading a book and sipping cocktails!

Oh, and I had an eye doctor appointment yesterday and got to pick out new glasses. I love getting new glasses.

"The past is gone but something might be found to take it's place, hey jealousy"

Keith just left. He took Braden and a couple of friends to a Lacrosse game in Philadelphia. They'll be gone from now until about midnight. I have big plans. I'm going to mop the kitchen floor, make supper for me and JJ, then sit on my ass on the sofa. Woo hoo! I know how to live.

I'm starting to hate other families. Other mothers with kids, especially. At the grocery store I see them all smiley and happy. "Honey, what kind of fruit snacks should we get?" Shut the fuck up, I want to yell. But I just smile their way. The other day, I was at the bookstore and this man told his little girl, I'd guess about three or four, that she could pick out a book. She was looking around, all cute with her hair combed and matching barrettes, but couldn't decide between two books. "Can I get both, daddy?" "I don't know, sweetie. We'll see. Now daddy wants to go pick out his book." "I know," she said, "how bout if I don't get on your nerves while you're looking, I can get both." "Deal," he answered. I wanted to smack them both. Actually, I wanted to smack them both, then kick the little girl. How dare they have a normal happy life? I hate my brother for having a perfect daughter. I hate Tracee for playing in the snow with her kids. Hate hate hate.

This is what my life has come to, mopping and hating.

"Doctor doctor, give me the news...."

Sunday night, we had another knock-out, drag down battle. We wound up taking Braden to the emergency room. The emergency room recommended by his doctor.
We got there around 8:00, and sat in the waiting room for 3 1/2 hours. A waiting room full of puking, coughing, injured people. By this time, of course, Braden was completely calm. He was completely calm when we left for the hospital. Finally, we were called back to triage (?).
We explained the situation, and that we were hoping there was some sort of crisis counselor there we could speak with. They took us back to the emergency psyche ward, where we waited another half an hour. Then they came and took Braden, and said he would have to change into a hospital gown. You should have seen the look on his face, it was heartbreaking.
A short time later (I say a short time, because it wasn't long, but it felt like an eternity), they came and got us. We had to lock our belongings in a locker before we were allowed to go back. They took us to a room that was completely empty except for a bed. A bed with just a white sheet on it. On the bed, sitting cross-legged, crying and rocking was Braden in a huge hospital gown, pajammas that had to be rolled ten times at the waist and these fuzzy brown socks. I don't know why I focused on the socks, but the image of them keeps coming back to me. I never saw a sight so sad in my life. He was petrified. We were petrified. We waited there about another half an hour. They wanted to take blood, which completely freaks Braden out. He said he didn't want them to. They said they'd wait for the doctor, because they weren't positive it would be needed.
Then they left.
A little while later, we were sitting there talking, and Keith suggested that Braden just let them go ahead and take the blood now, so if the doctor came in, it wouldn't take as long. Braden banged his hands on the mattress and said he didn't want a needle if he didn't have to have one. It wasn't loud, it wasn't violent, it was on a mattress. A nurse came charging in, "Brandon, what seems to be the problem here?" I said, "His name is Braden." She said, "Oh, Brandon, what are you doing. If you can't control yourself, your parents are going to have to leave, and you don't want that." Braden didn't say anything. "Did you hear me, Brandon? One more outburst, and they're leaving and you'll wait here by yourself. Am I understood, Brandon?" At this point, Braden and I both looked at her and yelled, "The name is Braden!" She said, "Braden, whatever" then turned around and walked away.
We sat there, and my immediate reaction was that there was no way I'd leave him there.
About twenty minutes later, a doctor came in. A resident, actually. She asked Braden what happened, and if it happened often. He told her. She asked us if we were afraid he'd harm himself, we said no. She asked us if we were afraid for ourselves. I said, "you mean besides being punched, hit and kicked during these episodes? Are we afraid to go to sleep because he might stab us during the night?" "That's what I mean," she said. "No," we both answered. "Then I see no reason to keep him. He can go home. Call his doctor tomorrow."
Then she left. A couple of minutes later, the attending doctor came in, asked the exact same questions, and seconded her opinion. We were given our stuff back, Braden changed his clothes and we were on our way.
We got home at 2:30 in the morning. We wasted all that time. We didn't get one ounce of help. I felt worse going home than when we were driving there.
I still keep picturing him sitting there in that bed, with those tan socks on.
We've had three bad days since then, but so far today's going well.
I think I've figured out why we get several good days in a row, then all hell breaks loose again. And, it's not God playing some mean sort of trick on us, as I usually think. It must be the cycle of his bipolar. He used to cycle very quickly. Ups and downs throughout the day. Now, he must be cycling in days. Three or four good ones, and then a couple bad. Then some good, and so on and so on.
I'm supposed to take him for blood work tomorrow morning, so wish me luck. That's never an easy thing to do. He's been getting blood tests since he was about four, and it gets harder each time. I'll probably wind up bribing him.
Maybe I'll tell him I'll get him some tan socks.