Dinner last night was very nice. The food was better than I thought it would be. We ate grape leaves, kebbee, meat pies, babagannouj, tabouli, and the best chicken and beef kabobs I've ever had. Dessert was baklava with pistachios and walnuts. Fantastic!
Now, as for the after dinner festivities. I wish I could tell you all about the hot sex we had, but there was no hot sex, just regular sex. Oh, and KY warming massage oil doesn't warm at all. At least it didn't on me. Keith said maybe it was because I'm so cold. Yeah, real funny, huh? I did get one hell of a back rub though, so the night wasn't a total loss.
Oh, and Tree...his and hers keys. You can program this car to save your favorite settings...seats, mirrors and steering wheel and just push number one for one driver and number two for the other driver. But the neat thing about this is that Keith can program his key so the car automatically goes into postion two, and when I insert my key, it automatically adjusts to position one.
Sunday, February 26, 2006
Friday, February 24, 2006
Some light at the end of the tunnel
First of all, thanks to all of you for your positive thoughts, your advice and your prayers. I had a very rough week, but things are looking up. I talked to JJ's Philadelphia DHS caseworker today, and she said that on the off chance that he gets sent back to Philadelphia, she will make sure that he still can come and live with us. She even went on to ask if I had a problem with a couple of his brothers, also in foster care, coming to visit and spend time with JJ. I said that would be fine with me. Keith is relieved too, although he says he is not changing his plans for finishing the basement into building dorms. Anyway, I'm in a much better state of mind. Plus, I spoke with someone, who shall remain nameless, who told me that he, too, stole a car in his early teens, and look at how well he turned out. In spite of not being completely sold with his "turning out well", it still made me feel better.
Oh, I know something else. We picked out a new car. We spent all day Monday car shopping, and finally settled on the new Lincoln Zephyr. It's beautiful. It has his and hers keys, the steering wheel zooms in to your favorite position and the radio tells you what song is playing. Plus, it's beautiful-inside and out! Oh yeah, and Keith says it rides really well. I dont' really pay attention to that stuff. I'm more of a cosmetic person.
We're going out to dinner tomorrow night for our anniversary. We're going with another couple, so we should have a good time. Keith and I haven't been out without Braden in quite a while. Who knows, maybe he'll even get some sex tomorrow night.
Oh, I know something else. We picked out a new car. We spent all day Monday car shopping, and finally settled on the new Lincoln Zephyr. It's beautiful. It has his and hers keys, the steering wheel zooms in to your favorite position and the radio tells you what song is playing. Plus, it's beautiful-inside and out! Oh yeah, and Keith says it rides really well. I dont' really pay attention to that stuff. I'm more of a cosmetic person.
We're going out to dinner tomorrow night for our anniversary. We're going with another couple, so we should have a good time. Keith and I haven't been out without Braden in quite a while. Who knows, maybe he'll even get some sex tomorrow night.
Tuesday, February 21, 2006
Well, I went to JJ's arraignment today. How the hell did I grow up to be so naive? (I don't even know if I spelled that right) Imagine me, Miss Pollyanna, going in there, thinking JJ is going to say he had nothing to do with this, they're going to say that he could leave until his hearing, and he'd be able to be released to the Children's HOme and I could spend the rest of the day with him. I couldn't have been more wrong.
First of all, JJ's caseworker (who never even went to visit him yesterday) said that he thinks JJ might be involved because one of the other kids that were arrested said he was. So, I tell the P.O. that I know from work to please go give JJ a message from me. "If you had anything to do with this, you have to admit it. If you admit it, you take your lumps, but you can stay at the Children's Home and then come to live with us as soon as the papers go through. If you say you're not guilty, and you're found guilty, they might ship you back to Philadelphia." When he came back, he said JJ told him he was innocent, and that when he told him what I said, JJ put his head down and started weeping.
I begged the head of the P.O. department to let me have a minute with JJ, but he said no. I asked if I could see him afterward, and again he said...little prick. So, we (the caseworker and I)get taken in this little room when we're "on deck", and whenever the door opens, I can see JJ sitting in his own little room. I can tell he's been crying, because he keeps wiping his eyes. They take us in for the actual arraignment, and some sweet, sweet old man asks if I'm JJ's mom, and I say no. I say I'm trying to be his foster mom, so he sits me at the main table, then brings JJ in to sit right next to me. The poor kid is sitting there, handcuffed and shackled, with tears rolling down his cheeks. I rubbed his arm and said to him (I didn't know if I was allowed to touch or talk to him) "Do what's right, JJ." They didn't even let him speak. His public defender said a couple of things about whose testimony were they basing these allegations on (one of the three kids already arrested) and was there any evidence linking JJ to the actual van (the answer is no). But, the judge said that since the crime is so serious, he has to stay at the detention center until the actual hearing next week. At one point, when people were talking, JJ looked over at me and through tear filled eyes, I saw him pleading with me to help him through this. At that point, my heart completely broke.
When it was all over, and we were dismissed, I asked the bailiff if I could have a minute with JJ, and he said sure and walked me into the hall where JJ was waiting to go back to his cell. I rubbed his arms (the handcuffs made a hug out of the question) and said, "Even if you weren't in the van when it crashed, and you were at any other time, you have to tell them." He looked me dead in the eye and said, "Miss, I swear I had nothing to do with this." I said they're saying you were there, to which he replied, "only one kid." I just started telling him that we'd do whatever we could for him, when the little prick guy came along and yelled, "You! I told you no! Get out!" and made me leave. Then, later in the hall when I tried to apologize for being back there, he wouldn't even talk to me.
Personally, I can't imagine that JJ would lie to me. Look me in the eye and lie. I believe him. I also don't think he'd jeopordize coming to live here by not admitting he was involved if he was. He didn't even start crying until he found out that there's a chance he won't be staying with us.
What am I going to do? Will the court take the word of one juvenile over another's? Can I get him a lawyer....Keith would never foot the bill for that. I'm helpless and I just keep picturing his "help me" look.
First of all, JJ's caseworker (who never even went to visit him yesterday) said that he thinks JJ might be involved because one of the other kids that were arrested said he was. So, I tell the P.O. that I know from work to please go give JJ a message from me. "If you had anything to do with this, you have to admit it. If you admit it, you take your lumps, but you can stay at the Children's Home and then come to live with us as soon as the papers go through. If you say you're not guilty, and you're found guilty, they might ship you back to Philadelphia." When he came back, he said JJ told him he was innocent, and that when he told him what I said, JJ put his head down and started weeping.
I begged the head of the P.O. department to let me have a minute with JJ, but he said no. I asked if I could see him afterward, and again he said...little prick. So, we (the caseworker and I)get taken in this little room when we're "on deck", and whenever the door opens, I can see JJ sitting in his own little room. I can tell he's been crying, because he keeps wiping his eyes. They take us in for the actual arraignment, and some sweet, sweet old man asks if I'm JJ's mom, and I say no. I say I'm trying to be his foster mom, so he sits me at the main table, then brings JJ in to sit right next to me. The poor kid is sitting there, handcuffed and shackled, with tears rolling down his cheeks. I rubbed his arm and said to him (I didn't know if I was allowed to touch or talk to him) "Do what's right, JJ." They didn't even let him speak. His public defender said a couple of things about whose testimony were they basing these allegations on (one of the three kids already arrested) and was there any evidence linking JJ to the actual van (the answer is no). But, the judge said that since the crime is so serious, he has to stay at the detention center until the actual hearing next week. At one point, when people were talking, JJ looked over at me and through tear filled eyes, I saw him pleading with me to help him through this. At that point, my heart completely broke.
When it was all over, and we were dismissed, I asked the bailiff if I could have a minute with JJ, and he said sure and walked me into the hall where JJ was waiting to go back to his cell. I rubbed his arms (the handcuffs made a hug out of the question) and said, "Even if you weren't in the van when it crashed, and you were at any other time, you have to tell them." He looked me dead in the eye and said, "Miss, I swear I had nothing to do with this." I said they're saying you were there, to which he replied, "only one kid." I just started telling him that we'd do whatever we could for him, when the little prick guy came along and yelled, "You! I told you no! Get out!" and made me leave. Then, later in the hall when I tried to apologize for being back there, he wouldn't even talk to me.
Personally, I can't imagine that JJ would lie to me. Look me in the eye and lie. I believe him. I also don't think he'd jeopordize coming to live here by not admitting he was involved if he was. He didn't even start crying until he found out that there's a chance he won't be staying with us.
What am I going to do? Will the court take the word of one juvenile over another's? Can I get him a lawyer....Keith would never foot the bill for that. I'm helpless and I just keep picturing his "help me" look.
Sunday, February 19, 2006
Sunday, bloody Sunday
Well, so far this weekend I've moped around, cleaned behind my refrigerator and stove (I only found six cents), moped, did some laundry, cried, called everyone I know to see if they know of anyone that works at the detention center, spackled JJ's bedroom, went out to dinner, moped yet some more, couldn't sleep, and, oh yeah, car shopped.
Keith really really likes the new Azera. I like it too, but the monthly payment would be a little higher than I want to pay. But, he's the one who writes the checks and pays the bills every month, bitching every step of the way. I don't think I'm in the mood to car shop, but we don't have a car, so it's not an option.
JJ's case manager is going to try to sneak me into Juvey with him tomorrow when he goes to visit JJ. I hope it works. If it doesn't, I will sit outside so Wally can tell JJ that while they wouldn't let me in, I'm sitting outside so I can get a full report when their visit is over. I hope he didn't have the horrible weekend I'm imagining he had. I hope he was able to keep his cool in there. I hope he told the police everything they want to know...I wonder if he was able to even talk about it to anyone? I have no idea how juvey works. If this would have only happened two weeks later, then I would be his official guardian and have visiting rights. Dammit.
Keith really really likes the new Azera. I like it too, but the monthly payment would be a little higher than I want to pay. But, he's the one who writes the checks and pays the bills every month, bitching every step of the way. I don't think I'm in the mood to car shop, but we don't have a car, so it's not an option.
JJ's case manager is going to try to sneak me into Juvey with him tomorrow when he goes to visit JJ. I hope it works. If it doesn't, I will sit outside so Wally can tell JJ that while they wouldn't let me in, I'm sitting outside so I can get a full report when their visit is over. I hope he didn't have the horrible weekend I'm imagining he had. I hope he was able to keep his cool in there. I hope he told the police everything they want to know...I wonder if he was able to even talk about it to anyone? I have no idea how juvey works. If this would have only happened two weeks later, then I would be his official guardian and have visiting rights. Dammit.
Friday, February 17, 2006
How do you mend a broken heart...
I just got a call from the Children's Home. It seems some boys have been sneaking out at night and helping themselves to a Children's Home van and going joy riding. I was aware of this, because two boys were caught doing this last weekend, and one of them is a student at my school.
But, the man in charge of the foster program called this morning to tell me that it has just come to light that JJ, my JJ, was now added to the list of offenders. He was taken away to the Juvenile Detention center last night awaiting his arraignment.
I feel like I've been punched in the stomach. The man I spoke to knows nothing more, no one is allowed to speak with him until his arraignment on Tuesday. FIVE DAYS FROM NOW! He says they're all shocked there, because this certainly does not seem like something JJ would do.
I can't believe he would do this. I'm experiencing such a roller coaster of emotions right now. My poor JJ sitting in juvey. Stupid JJ, how could you do something you know is wrong? How could you not tell me? There must be some explanation....you were framed, you were coerced. I can't believe you would be involved in something like this. We were so close to bringing you here. Just a couple of more weeks. Now, I don't even know if we'll be allowed to have him. I still want him. Maybe I don't want him. Keith probably won't want him. He should have had more love and guidance and good role models growing up. How could those imbeciles in charge of watching these boys at the Children's Home not be aware of what's going on at night? It's the home's fault for letting minimum wage workers be in charge of 12 teenagers. Stealing, um, borrowing a car isn't the worst thing a teenage boy could do, right? There are probably tons of teenagers that have done the same kind of shenanigans and grown up to be successful adults. Are you nervous and scared about coming to live here, is that why you did this? Are you trying to test us? To see how much we care about you? Are you trying to show that you don't think you're worthy of our affection? You were so excited last weekend, picking out your new bedding and paint color for your room. You were going to help me paint it this weekend.
This doesn't change how I feel for this boy one bit. I know I've only known him since September, but it feels like much longer. This only makes me want to hug him, to comfort him, tell him everything will be okay. Then yell at him and say, "how could you?". Then hug him again.
I know if he did this, or was involved in it, he has to face his consequences. I'm all for that. How else will he learn the seriousness of what he's done? I just hope that the consequences don't include him having to stay at the Children's Home and not being about to live with us.
Fortunately for me, I have a connection. A guy I work with is in charge of all the students we have on probation. He's trying to get a message to JJ for me. "Tell the truth. We're thinking of you. I'll talk to you as soon as I can."
But, the man in charge of the foster program called this morning to tell me that it has just come to light that JJ, my JJ, was now added to the list of offenders. He was taken away to the Juvenile Detention center last night awaiting his arraignment.
I feel like I've been punched in the stomach. The man I spoke to knows nothing more, no one is allowed to speak with him until his arraignment on Tuesday. FIVE DAYS FROM NOW! He says they're all shocked there, because this certainly does not seem like something JJ would do.
I can't believe he would do this. I'm experiencing such a roller coaster of emotions right now. My poor JJ sitting in juvey. Stupid JJ, how could you do something you know is wrong? How could you not tell me? There must be some explanation....you were framed, you were coerced. I can't believe you would be involved in something like this. We were so close to bringing you here. Just a couple of more weeks. Now, I don't even know if we'll be allowed to have him. I still want him. Maybe I don't want him. Keith probably won't want him. He should have had more love and guidance and good role models growing up. How could those imbeciles in charge of watching these boys at the Children's Home not be aware of what's going on at night? It's the home's fault for letting minimum wage workers be in charge of 12 teenagers. Stealing, um, borrowing a car isn't the worst thing a teenage boy could do, right? There are probably tons of teenagers that have done the same kind of shenanigans and grown up to be successful adults. Are you nervous and scared about coming to live here, is that why you did this? Are you trying to test us? To see how much we care about you? Are you trying to show that you don't think you're worthy of our affection? You were so excited last weekend, picking out your new bedding and paint color for your room. You were going to help me paint it this weekend.
This doesn't change how I feel for this boy one bit. I know I've only known him since September, but it feels like much longer. This only makes me want to hug him, to comfort him, tell him everything will be okay. Then yell at him and say, "how could you?". Then hug him again.
I know if he did this, or was involved in it, he has to face his consequences. I'm all for that. How else will he learn the seriousness of what he's done? I just hope that the consequences don't include him having to stay at the Children's Home and not being about to live with us.
Fortunately for me, I have a connection. A guy I work with is in charge of all the students we have on probation. He's trying to get a message to JJ for me. "Tell the truth. We're thinking of you. I'll talk to you as soon as I can."
Monday, February 13, 2006
My Name is Schell
Karma.
You know, I'm basically a good person. I don't lie (most of the time). I don't try to get "something for nothing". I don't exaggerate on my taxes. I don't take back things I broke to get my money back. It's just not me. But, I'm out of printer paper. And, I won't have time to get to the store to get any until the weekend, and Braden uses the computer for homework all the time. At work, we have reams and reams of printer paper. So, today, I took a handful...not even a whole ream. Just enough to get me through the week. No big deal, right? Wrong. I'm driving home from work today, minding my own business and some old geezer runs a stop sign and smashes right into me. My car is probably totalled, and I have one hell of a headache. If he would have hit me about a foot further to the right, I'd probably be in the hospital.
So, just like my good friend Earl, Karma is teaching me a lesson. I'm taking the paper back tomorrow.
You know, I'm basically a good person. I don't lie (most of the time). I don't try to get "something for nothing". I don't exaggerate on my taxes. I don't take back things I broke to get my money back. It's just not me. But, I'm out of printer paper. And, I won't have time to get to the store to get any until the weekend, and Braden uses the computer for homework all the time. At work, we have reams and reams of printer paper. So, today, I took a handful...not even a whole ream. Just enough to get me through the week. No big deal, right? Wrong. I'm driving home from work today, minding my own business and some old geezer runs a stop sign and smashes right into me. My car is probably totalled, and I have one hell of a headache. If he would have hit me about a foot further to the right, I'd probably be in the hospital.
So, just like my good friend Earl, Karma is teaching me a lesson. I'm taking the paper back tomorrow.
Saturday, February 04, 2006
The week in review
Starting over with a new blog is kind of fun, and kind of not. I liked the way our old site was, and like others have said am a little resistant to change. Unless, like Tracee said, I've initiated the change. But, hey, I can roll with the punches. Sadly, I can't figure out how to start a new paragraph on this thing. So, I'll just try extra spaces. Here's what's going on in my neck of the woods. Braden made high honor roll for the second marking period in a row. He was so proud of himself. I went in for a conference with his teachers the other day, and they all had such wonderful things to say about him. I left the conference skipping. Well, not literally skipping, but on the inside I was skipping. I had my meeting with the Children's Home about fostering JJ. It went well. They said as soon as our background clearances came through, he could move in. JJ is honestly so excited-and he's not used to expressing himself (it's something we're working on), so it's cute to see the little things he does to interact with me and the subtle hints he drops in front of other people so they know that he's getting out of the home. The other day I took him to the nurse for a lozenge during Reading class, and she asked him when he started getting his cold. He looked at me and said, "When did this first start? Saturday? At your house?" Which of course caused the nurse to look at me for some sort of explanation. He sat there smiling the whole while I was telling her about it. I keep teasing him about how I'm going to decorate his room for him...he has absolutely no opinion on anything. I keep asking him what color he wants the walls, what kind of bedding he wants....and my answer is always the same, "Regular". He keeps warning me to stay away from the room when he's not there. We're remodeling our basement. Not actually remodeling, since it was never done before. We're modeling it, I guess. Putting a family room down there. There's wood all over the place and the poor cats are going out of their minds. The superbowl is Sunday. Big whoop! Although, I do really like to watch the commercials. There hasn't been much buzz about them this year, except for the Jessica Simpson Pizza Hut commercial. My favorite superbowl commercial of all times is the Terry Tate Reebok commercial where he goes around the office tackling people who are being inefficient. "Break was over 15 minutes ago, Mitch!"...haha, it still cracks me up. Last weekend, I painted a TV tray. I didn't have any canvases, and was in the mood to paint. I'm dangerous when that happens, just ask my husband. That's a picture of it in the beginning of this blog. I have canvases now, so I'll probably paint during the game on Sunday. Well, that's about it. My week in review.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)