extra extra read all about it

I got a call from the Children's Home yesterday asking if I would be able to go there for a meeting with JJ, his caseworker and the campus supervisor.
So, I left work early and went to the meeting. I got there before JJ, and reiterated my points with the supervisor, and explained how important I think it is to stick to my guns here so that JJ learns responsibility. To my relief, she completely agreed with me (I had my doubts, because of how things tend to run at the Home).
When JJ arrived, I asked to speak with him alone for a minute. I gave him a hug, told him I loved him but then told him that I loved him too much and wanted too much from him to not hold him accountable. He didn't smile or really say anything. I was very concerned at this point, and, to be honest, a mess. I didn't think this was going to go well.
We went into the meeting, and surprisingly calmly talked everything through. He was respectful, apologetic and said he just wanted to come home. So, I brought him home. On the way home, he apologized again for what he'd done and for being disrespectful when he was angry. I think he wanted me to know that it wasn't just for show in front of the staff from the Home.

Sidenote: On Thursday, he had gone to his football coach (a man, who up until this point I had mixed feelings about) and explained what had happened. After practice, the coach took him out for pizza and talked with JJ. Then he took him to the Home and asked to see JJ's brother. He told his brother, under no uncertain terms, that JJ had the best world with us and that if Andrew wanted what was best for him, he'd do everything he could to make JJ realize that. The football coach called us after he dropped JJ off and told us everything. He also told me that if JJ's punishments for grades don't seem to be working....and they don't, perhaps he could help me with some creative punishments that, while they wouldn't be unhealthy for him, would make him uncomfortable. I told him I really appreciated it and it was great that JJ has another positive male role model in his life. Let's say my opinion of this man has gone way up.

So, as of now, JJ's home and last night we had a nice time together. I have Brighton this weekend and we were outside playing with him in the driveway when a couple of JJ's friends pulled into the driveway. Right away he looked at me and said, "I didn't tell them to come. I know I'm grounded." I knew he hadn't, just by the look on his face. I also know how worried his friends were about him and how stressful the week was for JJ, so I ordered some pizza and let them hang out for a little while. (making sure JJ realized why I did it, and that he was still grounded). He looked me in the eye and said, "Thanks miss. Really, thanks."

Title-less

Holy crap, I need a break!!

JJ left last night. He had his caseworker take him back to the Children's Home. She came up to talk to him about not following rules, lying, etc. I guess he thought it would be better to give up all the love he gets here, all the friends he's made, his high school and his football team instead of agreeing to admit fault and start living by the rules of the house. I'm in shock. I don't know how this will all pan out. He might call in a couple of days, or he might never call. He's so angry with me. Yeah, only me. The enforcer. As he left, he said, "sorry Keith. I didn't want it to turn out this way." I feel like a failure with him. I took the day off today, needless to say, I didn't sleep very well last night.

I went to my doctor's appointment. He recommended a dermatologist and told me to call to have it biopsied. I called the dermatologist, and they don't have an opening until the end of November. So, I have to find another one.

Today would have been my dad's 80th birthday. Happy birthday dad!

"All in all it's just another brick in the wall"

I'm still on strike. Well, semi-strike.
Both of the boys made dinner for me on Monday and pledged their undying love and gratitude to me. They promised to accept consequences for their actions and to be more responsible. Keith still thinks I'm being a jerk and thinks his end of the strike will be over if he keeps trying to kiss my ass. Think again. He needs to start stepping up to the plate as far as the boys are concerned.
So, the beginning of my week went well.
Then came the end of the week.
I found out that JJ has been lying to me all week. He offered to give up his phone in exchange for being able to go out after the prom. (we, oops, that would imply that Keith took an active role in this, I told him that since he was grounded because of his very poor grades that he couldn't go hang with his buddies after-prom.) I agreed to the switch. However, that sneaky, cheating, lying kid took the sim card out of his phone on Sunday and put it into an old phone of mine...which he took without asking and replaced it with an old sim card he got from a friend)so, he has not been phoneless. When I found out (something told me to turn his phone on) he lied about how it happened. He had plans to go to his Aunt's in Philadelphia this weekend, so I told him to leave the phone he'd been using and his driving permit on the counter before he left. He didn't do it. Now he's in Philadelphia until Monday and I get the stew over it all weekend. Yay me!
Also, on a completely separate note, I found a huge spot on my back that is certainly some sort of cancer. I have an appointment on Tuesday at the doctor's. There are some sorts of nearly-harmless cancer, but this is my life we're talking about. I'm sure it's melanoma. Plus, I've been doing some research and the little bugger fits all the criteria for melanoma. I'm sure I'll be okay, but what will I do if I can't sit out by the pool and read books every weekend in the summer? That's what I look forward to most.
Really, can one more bad thing happen to me? Mortgage crisis, idiot husband, disrespectful kids, bad economy....let's see, what else can we give her?? Oh yeah, how about cancer!

Strike

I'm on Strike.

Come Sail Away

That was the theme of JJ's prom. Here's a picture of him and his date:

Isn't he handsome?

?Happy Mother's Day??

I am so angry and disappointed in my kids right now, I literally am using every ounce of strength I have not to hop in my car and drive as fast and far as I can.
Neither Braden or JJ is a great student...they don't have it in them. But, they know I expect at least C's on their report cards. Every single report card comes and they get grounded for D's. Occasionally F's. Every single one.
They got grounded again last week. One is handling it better than the other, who shall remain nameless (Braden). He's been nasty and rude and disrespectful ever since he got his consequences. And, since they've been grounded, their grades have gone down. Yes, I said down.
Keith was planning on taking us out to dinner for Mother's Day, but I told him to cancel it. I really don't feel like sitting around a table with a couple of kids who could so blatently disregard what is expected of them, and pretending to be a happy family. I'd go without them, but I don't trust them to stay home and not use the entertainment (computer, video games, etc) that they've been grounded from.
I told them this and all I got in return is blank stares. No remorse. No apologies. Who are these people?

Brighton

My list didn't shrink at all this weekend...but for a good reason. I had my grandson. Not to sound like one of those boasting, stereotypical grandmothers...but he's adorable. And so bright. I took him grocery shopping with me, and of course everyone we passed was ooohing and aaahhing him, which he accepted with graceful smiles in the direction of the flatterers. When one man passed us, and had the audacity not to talk to him or smile at him, Brighton grabbed the man's shirt as he walked past us and when the man turned around Brighton dazzled him with his best smile and wave. The man laughed and laughed.

Here he is, judge for yourself.