"This here's the story bout Billy Joe and Bobby Sue..."

What a Saturday we had! Looking back now, it's a little funny. In fact, if it would have happened to someone else, it would have been funny by Sunday.
Braden was not having a good day. It was JJ's birthday, and in spite of my efforts to pay a lot of attention to Braden, he didn't take too well to having someone else in his own house have the limelight. He didn't do anything major, just lots of annoying shit all day long.
He and JJ got into an arguement about where their bike ride should end - which is no big deal, right? But, Braden has to fight dirty in every arguement and he called JJ the N word, and in the midst of their arguement said that he wished he'd never come into our lives. So, obviously, Braden got grounded.
That afternoon, Keith and JJ were going to go to Walmart so JJ could spend some birthday money, and I wouldn't let Braden go because of his behavior earlier. This didn't sit well with Braden, so he pitched a royal fit. Tried to block Keith from leaving the driveway, threatening to run away, standing in the front yard screaming his head off like a three year old. I told him that if he didn't come in the house, I was going to call the police because running away is illegal. But, what I didn't realize is that Braden had the phone outside with him. So, to be a wiseguy, he decides to call them himself. He dialed 911, but then quickly hung up when he thought better of it. TOO LATE!
Of course the police call back, and I explain that it was just my son being a wise guy. They insist on sending a patrolman over to check. REWIND to about an hour before all this when Braden had a bloody nose (he gets them occasionally), but didn't come in the house, so there were blood drops all over my sidewalk and porch, and all over the front of Braden's shirt.
I quickly made him jump in the shower and am about to wash the blood off the sidewalk when the cop car pulls in. By this time, Braden's hysterical that they're going to take him away. I explain to the officer what he did, but he wants to talk to Braden. I go up to the shower and coax Braden to come down and talk to the cop...but, of course I have to talk extra sweetly to Braden because I have a cop in my living room. While Braden's coming down the stairs, a second cop car pulls into the driveway. Oh, and it's in the middle of a beautiful Saturday afternoon, so all the neighbors are outside - kids playing, men lawn-mowing, etc.
They give Braden and lecture on what 911 really is for, ask him if he feels safe, tell him that he can't get that angry every time he gets grounded, because at 13, he has a lot of groundings coming up. Braden kept staring at me the whole time he's talking to them, like he's checking with me for his answers. It was awful.
The cops left, walking right over the bloody sidewalks, and for the rest of the day I kept waiting for Child Protective Services to come back and arrest me.
I think I can honestly say that it was one of the worst days of my life. If the cops hadn't believed him, I could have lost my job, we could have lost JJ, and lord only knows what could have happened to Braden.

"Teacher don't you fill me up with your rules...."

As I said before, we work in this wonderful, state-of-the-art new building now. Everything's nice and clean and sparkly. Everything is also very automated. Especially the bathrooms. Automatic toilets, automatic sinks, automatic hand dryers.

Not that I especially mind this automation, but I run into a little problem. You see, I stand to wipe. Does anyone else stand to wipe. The damn toilet always flushes when I stand to wipe, then I have to get it to flush again when I'm through. So, for the past four or five weeks, I've been doing this little "I'm finished peeing" dance in front of the sensor to make it flush, after it's already flushed.

But, lo and behold, I just found out the other day that there's a button you can press to make it flush. Imagine by surprise! No more "I'm finished peeing" dance. A wise woman down the hall filled me in on this little secret. I'm going to nominate her to win a lottery ticket during our next staff meeting. It's not exactly what people normally get nominated for, but, I think it's just as important.

"It's a family affair..."

Two school weeks down, countless more to go.
Braden mostly likes all his teachers....he doesn't dislike any of them, so that's a big plus. JJ, on the other hand, absolutely hates his teacher. And, knowing JJ as I do, that's going to lead to trouble. He's already gotten into little arguements with her over her treatment of other kids in the class. I'm trying to explain to him that maybe it would be in his best interest if he just worried about himself, instead of the others, but little Al Sharpton thinks that he has to stand up for people that won't stand up for themselves.
My class is pretty good. My favorite student so far just got sent back to Philadelphia, so I have a vacancy. (I'll tell you his story another time, you just need to know it's a sad one) We're getting a new girl on Monday, a transfer down from another class. She's a beautiful girl, but as street as they come. Every other word out of her mouth is "fuck", and she doesn't even realize she says it. It should be interesting. She'll be the only girl in the class, so that should shake things up a bit too.
I took my venus fly trap plant in last week, and the kids are fascinated. I have to keep looking for little things like that to take in. Things that make them ask questions and want to know more.
I'm sad that summer's over. Summer is my favorite time of year. Although, I can say that I'm a little anxious to decorate for fall. I love putting mums, pumpkins and hay bales on the porch. And, the colors are so pretty.
JJ had his first football game on Tuesday. They won, 21-0. He's second string, but got to play nearly the whole fourth quarter, and made a really good tackle, where they announced his name on the loud speaker. He's also on all the special teams, whatever that means.
The new tv season is starting soon. There's a couple of shows that look promising, plus I can't wait for Earl, The Office and Lost to start up again. Prison Break already began its new season, and it's really good. JJ made fun of me the first night it was on, because I told him we all gather in the living room and watch it as a family. He kept mocking the "family time" part of the process. But, now every Monday he says, "Miss, today's Monday. We all watch Prison Break together tonight." If his hood buddies at the Home could hear him, they'd faint. Or disown him. Or envy him.

"But that doesn't mean my feet are too big for my bed..."

What a wet, soggy few days! Everything feels damp and sticky, except, of course, me. JJ's first football game was canceled, and both kids were in the house mostly non-stop.

The first week of school went fairly well. I think I'll like the teacher I'm working with, and the kids in my class aren't too bad...yet. There is this one 9th grader that still wears light-up sneakers that I'm a bit concerned about.

On Saturday night, we went out to dinner to one of those Hibachi grill places. The food was fantastic, but the guy who cooked at our table was like a wet rag. He seemed like he'd rather be anywhere else that in that restaurant. We went with the neighbors, and it was my idea...so I felt kind of badly about it. At least the food was good.

On Sunday, we went to an indoor laser tag/bowling alley/arcade place in the poconos. The kids had a great time, and so did I when I kicked everyone's butts in bowling. One of Braden's friends went along with us. He's my favorite of his friends, even though he's probably the nerdiest. This kid is a straight through high honor roll student, never swears or talks back...the exact opposite of Braden. I don't see why they're friends. But, even funnier, is watching him interact with JJ. It's like street vs prep school. But, they get along great. The kid's last name is pronounced Biss-e-oh, and JJ calls him Bitch-e-oh. The kid calls JJ, Gay-J. It's hysterical. Or maybe just to me.

I'm doing pretty well with the no smoking. I'm allowing myself four cigarettes a day. One in the morning, one after work, one after dinner and one before bed. Soon, I'm going to cut back to three, but I don't know when. I keep putting it off.