I got a call from the Children's Home yesterday asking if I would be able to go there for a meeting with JJ, his caseworker and the campus supervisor.
So, I left work early and went to the meeting. I got there before JJ, and reiterated my points with the supervisor, and explained how important I think it is to stick to my guns here so that JJ learns responsibility. To my relief, she completely agreed with me (I had my doubts, because of how things tend to run at the Home).
When JJ arrived, I asked to speak with him alone for a minute. I gave him a hug, told him I loved him but then told him that I loved him too much and wanted too much from him to not hold him accountable. He didn't smile or really say anything. I was very concerned at this point, and, to be honest, a mess. I didn't think this was going to go well.
We went into the meeting, and surprisingly calmly talked everything through. He was respectful, apologetic and said he just wanted to come home. So, I brought him home. On the way home, he apologized again for what he'd done and for being disrespectful when he was angry. I think he wanted me to know that it wasn't just for show in front of the staff from the Home.
Sidenote: On Thursday, he had gone to his football coach (a man, who up until this point I had mixed feelings about) and explained what had happened. After practice, the coach took him out for pizza and talked with JJ. Then he took him to the Home and asked to see JJ's brother. He told his brother, under no uncertain terms, that JJ had the best world with us and that if Andrew wanted what was best for him, he'd do everything he could to make JJ realize that. The football coach called us after he dropped JJ off and told us everything. He also told me that if JJ's punishments for grades don't seem to be working....and they don't, perhaps he could help me with some creative punishments that, while they wouldn't be unhealthy for him, would make him uncomfortable. I told him I really appreciated it and it was great that JJ has another positive male role model in his life. Let's say my opinion of this man has gone way up.
So, as of now, JJ's home and last night we had a nice time together. I have Brighton this weekend and we were outside playing with him in the driveway when a couple of JJ's friends pulled into the driveway. Right away he looked at me and said, "I didn't tell them to come. I know I'm grounded." I knew he hadn't, just by the look on his face. I also know how worried his friends were about him and how stressful the week was for JJ, so I ordered some pizza and let them hang out for a little while. (making sure JJ realized why I did it, and that he was still grounded). He looked me in the eye and said, "Thanks miss. Really, thanks."