"Give me three steps..."

Last night, I got a phone call from my brother. He and his wife, my sister and a couple of her friends were at the legion. Come join them for a beer.
So, I ran up there and my cousin Kirk was there. He's my cousin third removed, or something like that. More like an uncle....a lot older than I am. Growing up, he and his wife lived right next door to my family.
Anyway....he was two sheets to the wind and telling stories about when we were younger. He was thrilled to see Afro, Susan and Me in the same place. So, he proceeds to tell this story of how he came home from work one day with a huge bag of peanuts and threw them all over the yard so us three would keep his very young son busy outside. "Ha ha," we laughed, now having kids of our own and knowing the feeling. He goes on to say that he was so horny, he wanted to "give it to" his wife. They couldn't even make it up the stairs, he said, he, and I quote, "nailed her on the third step."
How is that for a nice family visual.