I'm sorry for going on and on about the trials and tribulations of JJ, but I need to vent.
Today, I called JJ's caseworker to see if on Thursday, since Braden was going to school with me, if JJ could come home with us after school, stay for dinner then I would take him back by 8:pm. His caseworker called back and said that no, that wouldn't be possible. Not only that, but he can't come this weekend either. I asked if JJ did something that he was being punished, but was told that he hadn't done anything wrong. It seems they're not going to let JJ come here until he does a home visit. HE DOESN'T WANT TO DO A HOME VISIT!!! It would be his aunt they want him to visit (not a blood aunt, just a family friend who is his legal guardian)and he'd have to take about three busses and two subways to get there. All in all, about three or four hours - each way, for a two day visit. Plus, while he was in the detention center, she didn't call him or come to visit him or write him a letter. I spoke with her on Easter and she's thrilled that he's spending time here. She wants him to have a family to spend time with...she even said I hope you adopt JJ. I said to Wally that perhaps if they promised him he could come here this weekend he would go home next weekend...or vice versa. I was told, "We don't play that way. We don't negotiate."
He then went on to say that while it's great that me and my family love JJ and support him, we aren't his family. We're strictly his sponsors, and his visits with us are a reward and he has to earn them.
He also asked if either me or JJ had contacted JJ's DHS worker because she called him to ask why JJ's visits with his sponsors were being canceled. The caseworker told me he told her they weren't being canceled. I lied and said I had only called her while he was in the detention center. The Children's HOme would flip if they knew I called her. Then who knows when they next time would be that JJ could visit.
He told me he was going to try to "force" (his exact words) JJ to go home this weekend but he'd appreciate it if I'd tell JJ that and try to talk him into it. Plus, that way JJ wouldn't get angry at the home and get himself into trouble. I should have told him to shove it up his ass, but because I am more worried about JJ than anything else, I said I'd talk to him.
Needless to say, that didn't go very well. He's refusing to go home. He says they can't force him to go if he doesn't want to. He was nearly in tears asking why they keep doing this to him. "I keep doing everything they ask. I'm trying so hard, and they keep playing games. I don't even care anymore. I give up." So, I tried to cheer him up, tell him it's all a game and we have to be ready with an even better move, but it only half worked. I can't very well keep telling him there's a light at the end of the tunnel if I can't even see the damn light.
I am supposed to call him at 8:00 tonight. I'm hoping that he took my advice when dealing with his caseworker and just said, "I dont' want to go home." and that's it. I'm sure he didn't. I just hope he wasn't too beligerent.
9 comments:
Schell,
I have some advice, whether or not you want to do to is up to you. Call your Congressperson or local representative, make an appointment and ask their assistance. OR look up a child's rights activist lawyer in your area and pay a few hundred dollars to see what she has to say. They are giving you the runaround, and they'll continue to give you the runaround until you find saomeone with more clout than you have and who will go to bat for you and JJ>
The fact that they are punishing you for calling the caseworker is just plain sinister and coercive. They are holding you hostage emotionally. It's maddening.
I am convinced what it boils down to is that they don't think JJ belongs with a family like yours for whatever reason ,I agree with emem
I talked to JJ last night, he said that his caseworker called the DHS caseworker in front of him and left a message saying that it's important for JJ to go home and visit because he's angry and depressed. JJ was so mad he walked out of his caseworker's office so he wouldn't say anything to get in trouble.
I'm not going to do anything until after his meeting on the second. If that meeting doesn't go well, I'll have to find a plan B (or a plan E (as in Emma).
I'm confused. How is a home visit to someone yoou're not related to a home visit? is this aunt-who-isn't-a-relative keeping some of his brothers? Or does his caseworker not understand she's not related to him at all?
Emma -- I agree. I suggested that a few posts ago. I'd contact a lawyer, the district attorney, child protective services, the local television hotline (if they have one), whomever. This is bordering on sadistic and counterproductive. They're going with form over substance. They don't give a shit about those kids, they only care about something else like money. Assholes.
I give you credit, Schell, I would have gone ballistic by now.
Rosa, the aunt (who really isn't an aunt) has legal custody of JJ and is who JJ lived with before he was taken and placed in the foster care system. It is important for him to visit her, but it's more important to the Children's Home than it is to her.
Urb, it takes every ounce of strength I have to not go ballistic, I've lost more than ten pounds and probably have an ulcer. I'm just worried that if I persue other avenues, they'll pull something like ship him away to another placement, maybe even in another state. Like I said, I'll wait and see how his meeting goes on Tuesday.
Well, it sounds like you need to get that aunt, a lawyer, and a judge and see about getting legal custody transferred to you. it certainly doesn't sound like the aunt would mind.
"Emma -- I agree. I suggested that a few posts ago."
Heck Urban, Maybe that's where I heard it!! ;)
Post a Comment