This is my first drunken blog post ever. Can you delete a blog post? What if tomorrow I realize I shouldn't have posted this? Who cares.
I went to my neighbors tonight to go for a walk, but instead we drank a couple beers. I really shouldn't drink beer. I have a good time while I'm drinking them, but then I come home and realize how absolutely, incredibly, positively miserable I am. I hate my life. Not all of my life. Just my home life. I live my job. I have a great time there. Laughing, talking, being happy. Then I come home and it's like the air gets sucked out of my lungs. I'm miserable, don't talk, look for any excuse to leave the house, or have Keith leave the house. I don't know if I can take one more minute of this with out losing my mind. I keep telling myself that I only have one more year. One more year till Braden graduates. Then I can leave. Be on my own. I dont know, honestly, if I can make it. I really don't. That makes me feel guilty. Which pisses me off even more. Vicious cycle. I hate me. I don't know who me is. I want to find me. I want to be me.
I don't know what to do.
6 comments:
Well, crap. At least you know how you feel and that there's light at the end when you're ready. If you delete this tomorrow, don't feel bad about posting. Sometimes you have to vent. You are one of the best, funniest people I've never met online. There's a happy life out there for you.
Hell, if you can't let out here, where can you.
Is this all because of too many blow job requests?
Schell, Schell Schell, hang in there girl. We love you.
Wish I could help.
I hope you find happiness, wherever that may be.
Send her some gas money, Emma, you windbag.
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