We almost took Braden to the hospital last night, to have him involuntarily admitted. The last three incidents that happened were totally unprovoked. Nothing happened to set him off. He just started throwing things, then throwing things at us, then hitting, then...well, you know.
Last night he was screaming and crying and sweating like some kind of wild animal. I called a childline help number (on a card that Braden had brought home from school). They told me to call his doctor, who would call me back if he were on call, and call ahead to the hospital. I did all this. I put on my coat, Keith put on his, I put a blanket and Braden's shoes in the car. We carried Braden out to the car, but he kept kicking at the window and the seats...there was no way we would have made it to the hospital.
Our only option would have been to call an ambulance. If an ambulance would have come, they would have had to put him in a straight jacket. I couldn't bear it. I was crying, Braden was crying. "Please mommy, no hospital. Please mommy. I'll try harder. I promise." No matter how much I insisted it wasn't a punishment, that's what it felt like.
I admire people who could have made that call. I'm not one of them. The thought of him crying/screaming in a cold hospital, probably having to be strapped to a bed is more than I can take right this minute. If he gets admitted to a hospital, so many things for him would change. At school, they'd surely move him to a partial, which would be awful for him. Part of me knows that this is what he needs, but the other part of me keeps hoping that we can fix this on our own.
We all can't go on like this, yet I can't cross the line to commit him to a hospital. I don't know what to do. I'm weak.
14 comments:
Schell,
You're not weak. You're a mom who wants to do the right thing. Sometimes the right thing is the hardest thing. Braden probably belongs under a doctor's care and supervision before he gets hurt or hurts someone.
You need reinforcements.
Hey Binx! you calling Emmawrites goofy? allan
Dearest Schell, you are in our thoughts tonight.
The ambulance is a resource that you may want to consider in the future. Paramedics, etc., are trained to restrain people without hurting them. I suppose that they are trained that way because sometimes patients get to the point that they need transported and restrained. Only you can make that call, you're on the spot. But use your resources - ditto what Emma said, you need reinforcements.
Love, R
Schell. now is the time to be strong. he needs you to be the strongest you have ever been. allowing this is letting him down in the long run. the paramedics would probably be able to give him something to relax and get him safely to the hospital where he can be analyzed and treated. how will you forgive yourself if he hurts himself at home? do it. pretending it will go away is not going to make it go away.
You need to do what's right for Braden. You know that, but it's hard to do. It's beginning to sound like he's a danger to himself. I can't even imagine how hard it must be but . . . he needs help.
i think someone else may have asked this already, but where is JJ when all this is going on?
" Anonymous said...
i think someone else may have asked this already, but where is JJ when all this is going on? "
JJ is staying with Allan, who is going to cure him of being Black...
Look bert , you can stop being stupid now . i no longer have any interest in giving opinions in here . Personally , I think Schell has way more problems then just her kid so Bert your harem room is secure . I wont say a word and I will likely rarely come here so you can again start up the mexican penis joke machine and get the ladies tittering . And bert , I answered your other post on my blog . It's 3 or 4 back now . if you have no interest in it let me know bert so I can erase it . thanks , Allan
i think the silence is your answer allan.
you know you can't stay away.
look spidey , of course I'll watch this blog (i look at them all ) and I'm also expecting to hear from bert about my answer to his former post but I have nothing to add . I gave my opinions honestly , maybe a bit too honestly and I really have no interest in giving any more . I hope for the best for schell and her situation and theres no more for me to add here . allan
I encourage you to find a good biomedical group and share Braden's problems with them. There is one on Yahoo called ABMD. It was started for purposes other than bi-polar disorder, but it has grown into a very diverse and expert group. Tell them his story and see what the folks there recommend. Then try it immediately. Low and slow, one supplement at a time.
{{Schell}}
I can't even begin to imagine just how crap all this Schell , but from a cold blooded point of view i think the best thing you can do for Braden now is call the ambulance next time it happens, Bradens ging to get bigger , he's going to get heavier and he's going to do soem real damage to you or JJ or even Keith unless you begin to get this sorted with outside help now,by wanting to do the right thing and be a good Mom you are ding the wrong thing and lifes so fucking unfair there are days when I could just sit and howl at the moon, but you have to crack on and do what you have to do :(
alex
"I wont say a word and I will likely rarely come here"
like that will happen
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