I have had the worst week imaginable. Maybe not the worst week imaginable, but a very bad week.
As most of you know, Braden is bi-polar. While there have been, I'll use the word explosions here, because that's what they're like, explosions before, they've been once a month, or every two months, or every three weeks. Good times in between. Calm times in between.
This week, we've had three nights of hell in a row. Tuesday night, he went off over something, and I can't even remember what it was. Something inconsequential. It usually is. Something most of us would be able to shrug off. He gets violent now during his episodes. Throwing things, tipping furniture over, saying he's going to hit Keith or I, threatening to kill himself or run away. Tuesday night's tirade lasted about an hour, but then subsided. The one good thing, as twisted as this sounds, about these episodes is that the days right after, Braden's overcome with this kind of peace. Partly to make up for what happened, and partly because his body feels good to have released it's posion. But that didn't happen this time.
Wednesday night it happened again. But this time it only lasted about twenty minutes, and wasn't nearly as bad as the night before. Just enough to unsettle everyone in the house.
Thursday night was the worst ever. All I did was tell him to call his aunt to ask her how to switch sim cards in a phone before he did it wrong and screwed them up. He went ballistic. And, not spoiled brat ballistic. Just crazy people ballistic. He took a knife and tried to cut himself. He told me I better watch my back because he was going to get me. He kept swinging at me, close enough that I could feel the air swoosh by my face, but not close enough to make contact. With Keith it was a different story. He was punching him and hitting him. We restrained him three times in a 2 1/2 period. The whole time he's crying, "I can't stop. I need to calm down. Make it stop." I thought I was going to have to call the police or an ambulance. And, it's very hard for Keith to stay calm during this. He yells and threatens, adding fuel to the fire. When all was said and done, he was unconsolable.
I talked to his doctor, who thinks it might be a medicine thing, and we've upped the dose of one of them. We've tried to talk to Braden to find out what's going on. He's getting very frustrated with school again this year, and thinks one of his teachers hates him. I know this woman, she had him last year. I think he's imagining it. Also, he's a peanut of a kid. Probably a good six inches shorter, and fifty pounds lighter than his friends/classmates. They're all going through puberty, he isn't yet. He hates that he gets pulled out for learning support english and math, yet he'd flounder in reg ed classes for those subjects. I think that all these frustrations add up all day long, and he holds it in all day. He wouldn't want to have an episode at school in front of his peers or teachers, so he comes home and then the slightest little thing happens, and the floodgates open.
Needless to say, I haven't gotten anything done around the house this week. Dinners have been rushed and thrown together, laundry is stacked up and my part time job has been ignored. We're walking on eggshells. It's really like a battle ground.
20 comments:
Gee, Schell that sounds really awful for all of you.
Since you know the teacher, Braden thinks hates him, have you talked to her about maybe going a bit out of her way to make sure he knows that she doesn't?
Does Braden have some sort of outlet like drawing, a journal, or heck, a boxing bag?
Schell, that sounds miserable. I'm so sorry. Maybe the medication dose switch would help. The fact that he knows he's out of control has to be some consolation, that he really can't help what he's doing and it's not malicious. I hope you have a better week.
(Schell)
Maybe he really is starting puberty and that's the reason his medication isn't working consistently.
I have a student whose sisters are bipolar, and he grew up thinking that was normal behavior. He is not bi-polar, but he goes from telling me I am his favorite teacher ever, in the whole wide world, to screaming and throwing pencils and telling me he hates me.
I think you're an amazing mom. You'll get him through this. Just make sure you give yourself some 'me' time.
-P
Schell,
Sorry about your crappy week. I agree with Porks. Make sure you get some time for yourself.
Well Schell , I'll give you my opinion based on what I read here , obviously thats all I can go on . It
s not going to be very popular with the current writers here but here goes . Braden is in full control of the whole household . If he says he can't control himself , he can , he chooses not to , a person out of control doesn't know they are out of control . I was shocked to see that your husband allows the boy to punch him . My god Schell , this boy doesnt need medications (these doctors are medicating the crap out of everyone these days ) , he needs a good hard slap right across his face when he starts this kind of control shit either from you or his father . I can't believe keith allows the boy to attack him with punches and and puts up with such foolishness. This kid is out of control because you allowed him to become out of control and until you get him in control all the medication in the world isnt going to do crap unless you want him to be in a zombie state all the time. Too bad he's small, so are many people , too bad his pals are getting deeper voices and hair on their balls before him, it happens , too bad a teacher might hate him . maybe she has her reasons or maybe its bullshit hes making up ( likely) . Get this kid off the all the crap these doctors want to put kids on , slap him hard when he starts busting up the house you provide . I think if you start to take control Schell you will see the boy comeletely change his behavior . Thats my take on it Schell, sounds like Braden is the " Spoiled King " of the household and he means to keep it that way , I wouldn't live with a dog who acted like that no less a child and you know what Schell, in the long run both a dog and a child will be better off once an adult takes some control and everyone stops walking on egg shells around there because of a little despot . Allan
Porks may be on to something there, Schell. I seem to recall Mike saying soemthing about when his sister went into puberty they had to shift her to a different type of medicine.
Oh jesus rosa , whats with all this medication routine ? You go into puberty , you go into puberty , thats it , your tits grow in a girl and you have a period , in a boy your voice deepens and you grow some hair around your dick and balls , i never saw anything like I see now with everyones kid having bi-polar syndrom, ADD, ADS and a million other maladies , No wonder this country is a wreck. Everyone (mothers?) seems to want a sick kid they can medicate the crap out of , Look,l'm not saying here and there there isn't a need for medication and maybe Schells kid needs it ( I don't honestly know ) but come on , kids were fine before all these drug companies started making billions off people thinking there was something wrong with the offspring they produced. My God, I never saw anything as pathetic as whats going on with the kids in America today with all the drugs they are being fed . And Schell, honestly , a kid starts flashing a knife around for 2 and a half hours , punches his father and slashes at him and you , just maybe it he is really that fucked up he should be institutionalized for a time to see what the hell is going on . Sorry Schell but thats the way it sounds to me , allan
I like it when Emma removes Sparky's comments. Maybe should let Emma moderate your blog, Schell?
Your part time job is probably getting along fine right now, and they'd probably tell you not to worry. But of course, that's just a wild-ass guess on my part.
Emma removed the one comment I ever made on her blog and that concerned the glee she expressed in having her ill sister buy her gobs of junk , other then that I read her blog but never comment.
allan
We had a fairly peaceful weekend. No outbursts. We're all just kind of waiting, walking on eggshells.
Thanks all for your words of encouragement.
Blu , i agree medication might be an answer in some cases but it is also true doctors hand this stuff out to kids like its candy and a cure all for all that ails them . I'm sure Schell is handling things as she sees fit , shes there , I'm not so it's easy for me to put my two cents in here but one reason I reacted to this post the way I did ( as with Emma I always read this blog and rarely add a comment ) is because the description of Schells son hit home with me. Basicaly I did the same thing he did at that age ( not to the extreme of knife threats but close enough) and I was cured of it in a day with no mdeications , no psychologist visits , nothing but a simple act by one person . Maybe thats not the case here but from her description it sure sounds to me like theres a little dictator in that household who gets his way thru methods I understood very well as a young boy .
Allan, you need to learn the difference between ADHD, ADD, and being bi-polar. I'll agree the meds for the first are handed out like candy, but bi-polar disorder is an imbalance in the brain's chemistry that is diagnosed after testing and sometime brain imaging.
FYI:
http://www.janssen-cilag.com/disease/detail.jhtml?itemname=bipolar&page=ecall&s=7
Jills, one of things we keep talking about is having an inservice on how we should cope with our growing number of bipolar students, so could you forward me any info you have/get?
Sorry, Schell. That sounds awful. The only thing I find odd is that he can control it in front of his peers. If he were really out of control, I don't understand how he could do this.
I'd be willing to bet it has happened in some way in front of his peers, but not as fiercely. I'd also guess his meds work better during the day because it's closer to when he took them. I'd also point out that even non-bpd people often loss their temper with family more fiercely than with friends and peers because you know family love you.
I'd be willing to bet it has happened in some way in front of his peers, but not as fiercely. I'd also guess his meds work better during the day because it's closer to when he took them. I'd also point out that even non-bpd people often loss their temper with family more fiercely than with friends and peers because you know family love you.
sorry for the double post--blogger freaked
He is a spoiled brat, and you, by assigning a label to his behavior, gives him the green light to do these things. Harsh and immediate punishment needs to take place at the first sign of this behavior, and when he gets violent, call the police, let the police take him away for a few weeks, his bratty nonsense will come to a screeching halt, nobody ever punishes him and he knows this, Keith needs to kick his ass up and down the block and do it with purpose.
DON'T under any circumstances call the cops or any other memeber of so called authority ! Those fucking people are nothing but busy bodies who think they know whats what in life and will cause nothing but trouble. Hey I was thinking . Urb has a very good point about Braden not acting out like this in school and I really don't buy Rosa's explaination . It is surely interesting if he has no "control" that these episodes should happen anywhere he is frustrated and school certainly seems to be an area thats a problem for him. Hell, when I acted out like this as a boy I used to threaten my teachers with a machete I would sneak into the school down my trouser leg . Scared hell out of them. Of course this was in the 50s and the early 60s when Bi - Polar wasnt a recognized psychological problem but merely how kids were . Sorry about the cat schell but it worked out for the best and no vet involved . hahaha . allan
Honey, It sounds as if the Lord has graced you with the patience and fortitude of a Saint. It's sad that some people do not (or will not) understand the behavior of the mentaly disabled. I believe your doing the very best you can for your son and your family. Please, with the help of your doctor, find an experienced, preferably one with references, sitter, and take a day for you and may God Bless
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