You all know I'm not one to complain, but, I'm going to break from the norm. ~~0~~0~~
Keith is recuperating from his surgery. He can't drive, so he can't go anywhere, and it's driving him nuts. He sits around all day, waiting for me to get home from work so he can run errands with me. AArrgghh! (notice I didn't say he spends the day emptying the dishwasher, or doing laundry, or vacuuming) Errand running is my only time alone. I like to listen to a book in the car, or have the music turned up loudly. I like to not have to talk to anyone. Throw that out the window.
It's not helping that this medicine I'm taking to quit smoking has made me miserable. I just want everyone to leave me alone.
At 10:00, when I say I'm going to bed, Keith says, "Me too." And follows me to bed. Why does he have to go to bed at 10:00? He can sleep all day. I get ready for work in the morning making as little noise as possible, and as little light as possible, so he doesn't have to get up at 5:00. I resent it all.
It's so bad, that the other night I was watching a commercial for some sort of medicine to lower your cholesterol, and it showed how your arteries get blocked, one little speck at a time. I laid there, imagining all the little specks building up in his arteries, thinking "how long can this possible take?"
I'm awful. I know it. You don't have to tell me. I feel guilty enough. Not guilty enough to stop thinking about the specks, but guilty enough to feel badly about thinking of them.
5 comments:
I hope jasons arteries are hardening fast too. I know how you feel and I sympathise all I can say is this too will pas and at least he;s not follwing you to bed for sex
People ask why I don't want to get married and have 2.5 children - Schell says it all. -blu
I'll bet Rag wants in on that $900 Jason is making.
Schell,
I hate that commercial.
You need some Schell time.
Everybody has fantasies that involve things lining up so that they can be out from under whatever the strain happens to be at that moment. Once when I had an audit scheduled, I would day dream about a 10.5 richter scale earthquake striking SoCal the day before, so that the audit would be canceled. It did cross my mind that about 250,000 people would die within the first five minutes and probably a million over the next week or so. But hey, they weren't as important as me not having to go to that audit.
And damn it, I was right!!
But I suppose in the long run not having the earthquake was the better course of action. Someday you'll be able to admit that while the dream seemed reasonable at the time, it's okay that it didn't come to pass.
And if day-dreaming gets you through the rough patch, at least it keeps you from turning to drugs.
schell, i know what you mean by alone time. i don't want anyone to say 2 words to me for the first 30 mins after i get up in the morming or for the first 30 mins that they get home after me in the evening. my mom would ways say "don't pester your dad" when he'd get some from work, and so i've been raised to leave people alone and let them have "down time" after work. this is like speaking chinese to my guy. maybe you need to get keith a hobby to take up while he's home? does he like puzzles or building models? we can tell that he isn't going to be useful while he's home.
jilly
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