One of my favorite students, B, is applying to a college in Florida. (She's the one who will be the first person in her family to graduate high school) Because she's registered, she has an email account through her college. She figured out what our emails are at school...it's not too hard...first initial, last name, and has started sending me emails. But, the emails aren't really from her, they're from God. She knows I know they're from her, but she keeps sending them. I think they're hysterical, which is why I think she keeps sending them. (Sidenote: the kids start with 4 tokens a day, and if they keep a certain percentage, they earn rewards)
Here, in order, is what they've said:
"What's up...B is the best student in the world...she is the only kid in your school who don't do drugs...please this is from God...yes the one God. Never take another token from her again."
"This is God I am very angry with the way u have been acting lately. I want to inform u that on Feb 1, Friday, tomorrow u must buy R and B some candy because I am God and let them do everthing they want or u shall feel my wrath!!!!!!!!!! P.S. Please do not take any token from JD he is a Giants fan."
"Hello. This is God once again. I see that B was a very good student today. I think that she should not stay for detention tomorrow. Me and her have many things to do. Like go to the library. Also, baby jesus said hi."
8 comments:
Baby Jesus said hi!!!
She's hilarious.
T
I'm very pissed to discover that God spells "you" "U"
Are people worshipping an illiterate God?
omg, that baby jesus part IS funny!
Heaven is never having your tokens taken.
Schell, have you had the temerity to respond to Ghawd?
Screw "The Office." When it comes to captivating comedy, I want to see "The School," starring Schell and the Gang. And I want each episode to end like The Sopranos, with no weekly plot resolution and in someone's mid-sentence.
Thank you.
Do you write emails back to God, Schell?
We use a ticket system very similar to tokens.
Britters
Please pass on to this student the sincere admiration of a fellow heretic -- perhaps we'll be burned at the stake together.
Really, she's funny and bright!
R
She's going to college with grammar like that?
Is your student's name Toohotdvm?
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