Don't be ridiculous

So, last week I had a chat with Keith and told him how I was feeling, and that I didn't think I was going to be sticking around after Braden graduated. Not those words exactly, but that's the spark note version. His response....I'm probably depressed and should go to counseling. OK, whatever.
But, the other day I was coming home from work, and he was standing in the garage, right where I have to pull in. He was by the back wall, and just stood there while my car idled, waiting for him to move so I could park. He finally moved, and I parked. As I was getting out of my car, he said, "I thought I'd stay there in case you wanted to hit me." I said, "What are you talking about?" He said, "Well, that would be one less pain in your ass to deal with, right?" (I hate when he says things just because he wants me to say...no, no I would never want to get rid of you...I don't ever take that bait). So I said, "Don't be ridiculous. If I would have hit you, It wouldn't have been fatal, it probably would have just broken your legs then I'd have to take care of you all damn summer." He just looked at me, defeated, as I went in to the house.

Nice try, sport

I heard a little rumor. Apparently Braden told some friends that he was going to say he couldn't get off work to go on vacation with us. And then he was going to have a "house party" while we were away.
Well, today I started my counter strike.
I told him that if he wasnt going, then neither was I. "WHAT?" he said. Incredulous.
I explained that he aaa thecmain reason we go and it he wasn't gong, we'd stay home and save the money!!
A little while later I got a text asking if he could bring a friend. Bwah wah aah!!!

Nothing, buffalo legs, parties, trama and cobblestones.

I don't have much to report, but that's probably a good thing.
Renee and Brighton are here for the weekend...he's such a cutie. And, funny.
My SIL made a workout routine for me this week. I've been doing it faithfully. Still have buffalo legs (Thanks Nag)
We have yet another graduation party to go to today. And it's a double. Till this month is over, we'll probably have put out close to a mortgage payment in graduation cards.
I went bathing suit shopping last night...yuck! I think you should automatically be given flowers and something alcoholic to drink when you try on a bathing suit.
That's about it.
Oh, I'll leave you with this little joke:
Two nuns are riding their bikes through the back streets of Rome. One nun says to the other, "Funny, I've never come this way before." The other nun replies, "I know, it's the cobblestones."

ganache and legs on fire

I'm hosting bookgroup tonight. We read "Room". I loved the book. Good thing I have off today, because I have lots of cooking/cleaning to do. I'm serving Hot Olive and Artichoke dip, Holiday Bacon appetizers and Empanadas. For dessert, Gooey snickerdoodle cake, and Peanut Butter cake with Salted Chocolate Ganuche. I'm also making assorted flavored popcorns to munch on.
My neighbor and I walk every night. Two miles. But, she's been sick, so I've been going by myself. So, I started running a little. Just a little, it's all I can do for now. My legs feel like they're on fire...and you know what? I like it. I've lost about 15 pounds in the last year....not that I'm trying to, I'm just not eating. But, my limbs (and ass) (especially my ass) are saggy. So, I'm trying to tighten them up. I told my sister-in-law "I'm going to turn miserable-ness into fit-ness"
At least that's my plan for this week.

Well, school's out for the summer. Braden's last day was today. Teachers in my building had their last day today too. I work all summer, but started my summer hours today (4 ten hour days, Friday's off).
I still don't feel any different than I did last week, when I posted my drunken post, but I can officially start counting down now. 365 days!
Here's a picture of me, Afro and Susan when we were out Saturday night for Susan's birthday. I hate all pictures of me. Why is that?

Excuse me

This is my first drunken blog post ever. Can you delete a blog post? What if tomorrow I realize I shouldn't have posted this? Who cares.
I went to my neighbors tonight to go for a walk, but instead we drank a couple beers. I really shouldn't drink beer. I have a good time while I'm drinking them, but then I come home and realize how absolutely, incredibly, positively miserable I am. I hate my life. Not all of my life. Just my home life. I live my job. I have a great time there. Laughing, talking, being happy. Then I come home and it's like the air gets sucked out of my lungs. I'm miserable, don't talk, look for any excuse to leave the house, or have Keith leave the house. I don't know if I can take one more minute of this with out losing my mind. I keep telling myself that I only have one more year. One more year till Braden graduates. Then I can leave. Be on my own. I dont know, honestly, if I can make it. I really don't. That makes me feel guilty. Which pisses me off even more. Vicious cycle. I hate me. I don't know who me is. I want to find me. I want to be me.
I don't know what to do.

Mother of the year, right here.

You all probably know that I'm not much of a drinker. I don't like the feeling of not being in control of myself...or the sneaking suspicion that someone is going to "need" me for something and I won't be able to take care of it. Plus, I'm not a big drinker of any liquid. I get too full. So, I can never seem to drink enough to get drunk. I'm always the one in any group who is "the lightweight" or the "tea-totaler".
Anyway, Friday after work a bunch of us went out. We went to a little bar that's about two miles from my house. Jay was in Philly and Braden was at work at Dorney Park. Keith...well, he was around but going out later. Soooo, we're at the bar for a couple of hours and I had four mugs of beer. Very unusual for me, and I was feeling pretty good. We were having a great time...talking, laughing, etc.
So, anyway, I come home and walk in the door to an empty house. My first thought is I'm going to go right to bed in the quiet. Well, my phone rings, it says it's Braden. "Hello," I say. "Hi, this is Melinda from Dorney Park First Aid" "Yeah?" I say. "We have Braden here. He says he hasn't eaten in 24 hours, and that he's feeling light headed and has chest pains." "Chest pains," I ask? "Anytime there's chest pains involved, we recommend a trip to the hospital. Can you come and pick him up and take him to the ER?" Now, Dorney park is about 45 minutes from here. I reply, "this is going to sound really awful, but I went out after work and had a couple of drinks. I really shouldn't drive to Allentown, and my husband isn't home." In a somewhat critical voice she says, "Ok. We'll call an ambulance." "How is he now? Chest pains, really?" She says he says he feels better but he has to go to the hospital before he can come back to work the next day. "Tell him I'll call my husband and we'll meet him at the hospital."
So I call Keith....at a bar, and tell him to come home so we can go. I feel embarrassed, and like the worst mother ever. But at the same time, I know how Braden is and he can be a bit of an "overstater", so I truly doubt there's anything wrong with him. We get to the hospital to see Braden, in a hospital bed, eating a turkey hoagie, laughing with the nurses and the guy from the park that went with him. I wanted to strangle him. Turns out everything was fine, but I had to admit to someone I wasn't in control enough to drive my son to the hospital, and answer questions about why he didn't eat for 24 hours. (he had dinner the night before....what am I supposed to do follow him to school to make sure he eats his lunch?).
Plus, he really ruined by buzz.

Rapture = good weekend???

I've just had a great weekend. Braden had prom on Friday night. I had bookgroup. Joe, Renee and Brighton were here for the weekend. Last night I went to the college graduation party for the daughter of one of my bookgroup friends. I took Renee and Brighton with me, and he was so cute, "performing" for all the people there. It was such a nice time, sitting around talking with a bunch of women I have a lot in commonn with (well, except for the fact that they all have wildly successful children, and I have children that are getting by). But, other than the all-these-colleges-are-vying-for-my-children-stories, it was wonderful! Plus I saw a friend that I used to work with that I haven't seen in years, and it was like we hadn't missed a beat. I had a great time!

Today, I'm going grocery shopping, doing laundry and planning on spending some time reading, in the sun of course. Also, I'm going to plant the vegetable garden and weed my periannual garden.

For those of you who asked, here's a picture of my tattoo. It was taken right after I had it done. It's "calmed down" a lot since then.

Prom and Ink

This week has calmed down a little. Nothing new has happened, thank God. Braden's attitude is improving a bit as he slowly realizes he's the one that did something wrong, not me. JJ found someone to buy his car so he can put the money toward his brother's lawyer. No one has heard a word from Gio.

Last night was Afro's daughter's prom. She's only a freshman, but was invited by a junior. Here's a picture of the two of them before the prom:

Oh....I finally did something I've been wanting to do for years. And years. I got a tattoo. It's on the inside of my right wrist and it says "breathe". I love it. For at least ten years I've wanted one, but always chickened out because of the pain involved. Plus, I was never really sure what I wanted, or where I wanted it. But, I finally decided, then all I had to do was overcome the fear part. Braden and a coworker "you won't - ed" me into getting it. Now I have it. I love it! I'm kind of proud of myself.

Duh, Losing

Well, what a great freaking week it's been. (Tons of sarcasm there, if you couldn't tell)

First of all, JJ's brother was arrested for arguing in a WaWa with his girlfriend...then the cops proceeded to beat the living daylights out of him in the paddy wagon...I know it sounds very Rodney King-ish, but it's true. Two broken wrists, stitches in his head. And the cops kept saying to him, "No judge will believe you." Andrew has been here many, many times. He's a good guy. And JJ is a wreck over it.

Next up on my plate of misfortune. Gio's P.O. took away his home visits. Not because of anything he did, but because it's a really bad, crime-ridden area where he's from and she doesn't want him there. This happened three or four weeks ago. Since then, he's become miserable. Stays in his room, hardly talks to us, refuses to do any work at school, etc. Last Saturday, Keith and I ran to the store after dinner and when we came home, my car was gone and so was Gio. He (keep in mind he's 15 and doesn't have a license) took it and drove to Easton. Hung out over night then took a bus to Philly. We recovered my car...minor damage, but not Gio.

Now for the last part of this trifecta of shit....Tuesday night, I caught Braden sitting in his car, in the driveway rolling a joint. This isn't the first time he's been caught smoking. He told me he'd stop. He's knows, beyond a shadow of a doubt, how I feel about pot. After seeing everything Renee went through, you'd think he'd steer clear. Anyway....I told him that if he was going to continue to smoke, he was going to have to go stay somewhere else. So....the next day I get a call from his principal. He got into a fight at lunch time and was being suspended for five days. But, while the principal was talking to him about the fight, Braden told him that I kicked him out of the house for smoking pot. Wonderful. Let's bring the school into this. So, Braden's been miserable around here....and as you might recall from his youth....when Braden's miserable, everyone's miserable.

I quit.

Is it just me or.....

So, I kind of have a little crush on my oral surgeon. He's a cutie-patootie. He looks like one of my celebrity crushes, Stanley Tucci. And he's got a great sense of humor. Anyway, when I went for my post-op check up he found a problem and said I had to come back again in two weeks. So, I went back. He checks my mouth and problem is healing nicely. "I think it's healing fine now," he says. "There's no need to make another appointment, I know it's a pain to drive here." "Okay," I reply, while looking dreamily into his eyes. As we're walking out of the exam area, he puts his arm around my shoulder and says, "But, if you think something's not right, or you need anything don't hesitate to call the office. Anything at all, okay?"

In my warped head, this is what I heard.....
Stanley Tucci: "I'm afraid there's no medical reason for you to make another appointment, but I find you absolutely fascinating and would love to have sex with you!"

That's probably what it meant, right? I'm not imagining any of this, am I?

For you Emma

Me, afro and Susan. Easter 2011

Ta Da!

I love, love, love the tile. It was a lot of work, but we're both alive. You can't tell exactly from the pictures, but it's clear glass, smoked glass, stainless stell, stone, and these tiles that are irredescent (Certainly not spelled right), they look like oil on the driveway. Now we just have to get longer screws to put the outlet covers back on, and we're set.

backsplash

Today Keith and I are going to install a glass tile backsplash in our kitchen. We never put a backsplash in when we remodeled the kitchen five years ago.
Wish me luck. Believe it or not, we don't work that well together. Our styles are very different. He moves very slow, and is completely methodical about everything. I'm kind of a Measure-twice-why?, let's get it done as quickly as possible person. So, by tomorrow, I'll either have a beautiful backsplash, or be a widow. The odds are 50/50.

Post-its, anyone?

Today I do the nearly-last bit of painting. The accent wall. The color I chose is called La Fonda Turquoise. Right now I'm just waiting for the spackle to dry in the nail holes then I'll start. If I can find batteries for my camera, I'll take a picture when it's done. Yesterday, for April Fool's Day, this is what my desk looked like when I arrived at work.... There were post-its everywhere! One of the teachers did it. It was cute. The kind of prank I like. No one gets hurt, or extremely embarrassed.

Ouch

I had the final step in my "mouth job" done on Thursday. I had my remaining seven front teeth pulled and a denture put in. My mouth hurts so much, but I know that will only last another day or two. It will be so nice to have a full set of teeth that are straight and where they're supposed to be. As soon as this swelling goes down, that is.

I always think I'd like some time to just lay around and do nothing. This was my excuse. I was looking forward to being on the couch, reading, watching television for a couple of days. It lasted one. Actually three quarters of one. I can't do nothing. So, yesterday I started painting my bathroom walls. I just painted my powder room, and my plan was to get some wall decals of chandeliers to put on the largest wall in there. But, those decals are over $30 each, so you know me. I decided to draw them on there and paint them myself.

I have two done so far.........

What do you think? I have two more to do.

Brighton's birthday party

Brighton's party was a lot of fun. A little chilly, but nice and sunny.

I got to spend a good part of my afternoon in the moonbounce. Brighton said, "Gigi, you come in with me?" So I went in. Then other kids came in and he ignored me. So, I'd try to sneak out, and he'd catch me every time. "Gigi, you don't want to stay in here with me?" So, of course I'd stay.

Here are some pictures from the party. Me, Afro and his girlfriend enjoying some great food. Braden playing some basketball. Brighton opening his presents. Brighton, Renee and Mickey (who he wasn't too thrilled with), and Me and the little cutey in the ball pit.

Mickey Mouse cups

Painting is almost done. I also painted a square in the kitchen with blackboard paint. Braden and Gio are having fun drawing on it, trying to out-do eachother with insults and whatnot. I had some old trim pieces in the garage and I'm using them to make a frame around the blackboard. All I have to do is the accent wall yet, but I'm taking this weekend off. Things have become a little neglected around here. So, today I'm going to be cleaning, dusting, vacuuming, laundry, etc. All the fun stuff.
Tomorrow is Brighton's birthday party. He's three now. He told me over the phone, "Gigi, you coming to my party? I got Mickey Mouse cups!" Looking forward to a day of doing nothing, and seeing him. I have to run out today and get him a gift. He has SO MUCH stuff, I'm just getting him a little game or something and a savings bond. Plus, my ex brother-in-law owns a restaurant and is a great cook, so I'm looking forward to eating a lot tomorrow.

Just forget the words

Painting, round three begins today!
Today I'm painting the trim in my kitchen/dining room. I also plan to do the trim in my living room, but I'm not sure how long the k/d trim will take, or how much my back can take, so that might wait for another day.
Braden got his driver's license last week. So far, he's doing pretty well with it. Of course, he doesn't have free reign to drive where ever he wants. Just back and forth to school, and to work. Sometimes to a friend's house and back.
Brighton turns three on the 16th. Where did the time go. It feels like just yesterday that I was at the hospital with Renee, while she was in her 36 hour labor. He's such a cutie, I love every minute I spend with him.
Last week I caught a song on the radio that I like. It's a couple of years old, and it's called "Chasing Cars"...and the hook of the song says, "If I lay here, If I just lay here, would you lie with me and just forget the world." But, ever since the song came out, I thought it said, "would you lie with me and just forget the words". I practically slapped myself in the forehead when I realized I'd been singing along with the wrong words for the whole time!!
Okay....time to prep for the painting....WORST PART OF THE JOB!!!

I love how the painting came out. Although I'm still catching up on all the other things I didn't get to this weekend because I was painting. Mainly laundry.

The trim color is called "Aged Fossil" and the wall color is "Frosted Glass". It's a real light grey with a tiny tint of aqua - which I didn't notice on the paint chip, but on the walls that's how it looks). Now I think I want to carry this color into my kitchen and dining room (one big room, really). I'm thinking of doing the same color on the walls and trim, and then doing an accent wall in a teal/peacock blueish green. That same wall is now orange.