"crying, over you....crying over you"

Emma's post reminded me of this. I wanted to post it before, but I forgot.
I think most of you know that I've been working part-time as a TSS for a MR and Autistic boy named T. I started last August. He's six years old and the most beautiful child ever. A head full of blond ringlets...he looks like an angel. And, when I'm not being hit, bitten, kicked or pinched he's the sweetest thing. Anyway....he has the strangest hate for Billy Mayes. If one of his commercials comes on the tv, and T hears it (even for just a few seconds) he starts to cry. And not just "I don't like that man" crying, inconsolable, heart-wrenching crying which can last for hours. His mom told me, "I'd never wish anybody dead, but I can say it will make my life a little easier."

Braden got a new iphone. After much hulabaloo, they finally replaced it. And, for my trouble, threw in a free Shuffle, which Keith quickly snagged.

I have Brighton this weekend. He's adorable and so smart. But, I probably won't get much done. I got up early this morning just so I could have a little "alone" time. We're taking tea lady to lunch today for her birthday, then we have a party to go to later. It should be fun. I'm making baked brie and these adorable cupcakes that you decorate with brown sugar (sand), blue food colored icing (water) a drink umbrella and a round red/white peppermint ball (beach ball). I just have to find the umbrellas.

"Telephone line, give me some time, I'm living in twilight"

Yesterday morning I had the best french toast! Joe came down and he stopped a little produce stand on his way. He bought a loaf of banana nut bread and a loaf of coconut bread. He made the french toast with it. I had the coconut, and I swear it was the best FT I've ever had.
Braden bought himself an iphone and has been having trouble with it. In the last three days I've spent over 6.5 hours on the phone with AT&T and Apple. The end result....I have to drive to the Apple Store and get it replaced. I'll never get those 6.5 hours back. It was very frustrating, to say the least.
Still no offers on the house. It's kind of a good thing, though, because there's nothing for sale right now, in our price range, that we're thrilled with. There is plenty just above our price range, so maybe by the time our house sells, the price on them will come down. We'll see.

"It don't matter if you're black or white"

At this very moment, I could have been a widow. That is, if things would have gone differently about 35 years ago.
Sadly, that's not the way things unfolded.
When I was about 12 I wrote a letter to my love, Michael Jackson. In this letter I professed my undying love for him and my wish to be his girlfriend. At the end of the letter, in a typical teenage angst-ridden tone I confessed that there was perhaps one small problem in our future relationship, and that fact was that I was white.
I never heard back from him. I was crushed.
If only he had.

In all seriousness, I'm very saddened by his death. He was a musical genious. I know he had issues, but to me his talent outshined all that.

All the book group food was a hit. They were all new recipes, and they came out well. I thought the baked onion dip was a little salty, and the lime cheesecake I wasn't thrilled with, but others were. The corn dogs were scrumptcho-banumptcho! But, the pumpkin cheesecake muffins were my favorite!
Our house went on the MLS on Wednesday and the sign went up on Thursday. We had four showings this weekend. That's a good sign. (it sure is a pain to have to evacuate the house, especially getting the dog out as that limits where we can go for the hour the showings typically last. - It's not supposed to be as rainy this week, so hopefully when there are showings we can just go for a walk)
Other than that, I got nothing. But, that's a good thing, I guess.

Yummy

I'm hosting bookgroup tonight.
I have a fun afternoon of cooking planned. I've recruited JJ to help me (It will help work off his punishment for his grades). The book had a Japanese/baseball theme
The menu I've planned is:

Bleu chees/bacon corn dogs
Roasted spicey nuts
Baked onion dip
Wrapped asparagus
Egg rolls

Desserts:
Lime cheesecake
Pumpkin Creamcheese muffins
Raspberry filled chocolate cake

Oh, and a sparkling peach punch.
Personally, I'm looking forward to the corn dogs (new recipe) and the muffins.

Lights, camera, action!

Well, the list is finished.
The real estate agent is coming tomorrow and we're listing it.
My neighbor doesn't want us to move so she said she's going to do strange things so potential buyers are afraid to move here. Like get a bunch of old cars on blocks in the front yard, hang a rebel flag, etc.
Keep your fingers crossed.

"One small step for man...."

Well, I was pleasantly surprised at yesterday's meeting.
It was JJ's and Braden's school caseworkers and the Director of Special Ed. and me.
First we went through JJ's IEP, and she agreed that the goals were irrelevant and non-measurable. But, she did say that if he has any interest in college at all, a 504 plan is better than an IEP. I don't know if that's true....I can't find any information that says one is better than the other.
Then we went through Braden's. She helped his caseworker rewrite all his goals. Then she said that she knows the school was totally wrong with not sending reports of progress but that she had no idea. She just assumed they were since the middle and elementary schools were sending them. She also said it looked like IEP's needed to be looked at in general and more training was needed for her staff. She said they're using a new computer program next year that will automatically generate the reports, which will be tied right into report cards. She going to implement a plan where the report cards of student's with IEPs will be generated separately and the reports will be attached and mailed together by the main office, who will notify her if reports aren't done.
She thanked me for calling her and said that believe it or not, I'm the first high school parent to ever call and complain about IEP's or lack of progress reporting and if I hadn't called, she would have continued to assum that things were being done the way they were supposed to be.
I didn't particularly care for her....he attitude was a little, "I'm way better and smarter than you'll ever be", but I made my points clearly and she took care of all my concerns. Now, we'll just wait and see what happens next year. But, she clearly knows that if these issues aren't rectified, I will call the state.

IEP SchmIEP

About a month ago I had to go to the school for JJ's IEP meeting. The school says he doesn't need an IEP anymore. Last year he had two goals on his IEP and at the meeting one was classified as "not introduced" and the other showed "minimal progress". In math, JJ tests at a 4:7 (high fourth grade level). How can they say he doesn't need an IEP when they haven't met the goals of his existing IEP??? Unfortunately, I don't have Educational Rights for him, and Children's Home doesn't want to fight it. My hands are tied.
Two weeks ago I went in for Braden's IEP meeting. He has three goals. Two were marked "moderate progress" and one was marked "significant progress". However, the school has no data to back up these statuses. When I requested it, they said there really wasn't any. Braden went from a tested sixth grade level in math at the end of 8th grade, to a 5th grade level at the end of ninth grade.
Also, according to all IEP's, there are supposed to be quarterly IEP progress reports sent home...I never get any for either boy. I talked to my neighbor, whose son has an IEP, and she doesn't receive the progress reports either. And, all three of these kids have different special ed caseworkers at the school, so it's just not one person not doing their job....it's standard operating procedure.
I called the Director of Special Ed yesterday and she wants me to come in today for a meeting at 9:am. I know a lot of you aren't familiar with IEP's, but Nazareth is being non-compliant. That's against the law. I know it. They know it. She said the meeting was going to be with her, and JJ's and Braden's caseworkers, but, I know I'm going to walk into that meeting this morning and have to face about 8 people with various degrees. I'm very nervous. I'm so pissed about this whole situation and I'm going to forget all the logical points I have made in my mind. I'm going to come off as a stark raving lunatic....but, holy crap, this is about the education of these boys. And, if the three kids I know with IEP's are having this problem.....what about all the other kids with IEP's? It just can't be a coincidence that these are the only three problems.
Wish me luck!!!

listless

My list finally has more things crossed out, than aren't crossed out.
Thursday we're getting the carpets shampooed, then we'll be ready.
I was going to buy new bedding for my room....so my curtains and bedspread match...but, I don't want to spend the money. I just have to plant some flowers in the window boxes out by the pool and we're done!
I'm glad, yet sad.

"No more pencils no more books...."

Today was the last day of school this year for me.
So, I'm off for the summer....except for the part-time job I do. But, 15 hours a week is better than 50. I won't have to set my alarm for two months!

extra extra read all about it

I got a call from the Children's Home yesterday asking if I would be able to go there for a meeting with JJ, his caseworker and the campus supervisor.
So, I left work early and went to the meeting. I got there before JJ, and reiterated my points with the supervisor, and explained how important I think it is to stick to my guns here so that JJ learns responsibility. To my relief, she completely agreed with me (I had my doubts, because of how things tend to run at the Home).
When JJ arrived, I asked to speak with him alone for a minute. I gave him a hug, told him I loved him but then told him that I loved him too much and wanted too much from him to not hold him accountable. He didn't smile or really say anything. I was very concerned at this point, and, to be honest, a mess. I didn't think this was going to go well.
We went into the meeting, and surprisingly calmly talked everything through. He was respectful, apologetic and said he just wanted to come home. So, I brought him home. On the way home, he apologized again for what he'd done and for being disrespectful when he was angry. I think he wanted me to know that it wasn't just for show in front of the staff from the Home.

Sidenote: On Thursday, he had gone to his football coach (a man, who up until this point I had mixed feelings about) and explained what had happened. After practice, the coach took him out for pizza and talked with JJ. Then he took him to the Home and asked to see JJ's brother. He told his brother, under no uncertain terms, that JJ had the best world with us and that if Andrew wanted what was best for him, he'd do everything he could to make JJ realize that. The football coach called us after he dropped JJ off and told us everything. He also told me that if JJ's punishments for grades don't seem to be working....and they don't, perhaps he could help me with some creative punishments that, while they wouldn't be unhealthy for him, would make him uncomfortable. I told him I really appreciated it and it was great that JJ has another positive male role model in his life. Let's say my opinion of this man has gone way up.

So, as of now, JJ's home and last night we had a nice time together. I have Brighton this weekend and we were outside playing with him in the driveway when a couple of JJ's friends pulled into the driveway. Right away he looked at me and said, "I didn't tell them to come. I know I'm grounded." I knew he hadn't, just by the look on his face. I also know how worried his friends were about him and how stressful the week was for JJ, so I ordered some pizza and let them hang out for a little while. (making sure JJ realized why I did it, and that he was still grounded). He looked me in the eye and said, "Thanks miss. Really, thanks."

Title-less

Holy crap, I need a break!!

JJ left last night. He had his caseworker take him back to the Children's Home. She came up to talk to him about not following rules, lying, etc. I guess he thought it would be better to give up all the love he gets here, all the friends he's made, his high school and his football team instead of agreeing to admit fault and start living by the rules of the house. I'm in shock. I don't know how this will all pan out. He might call in a couple of days, or he might never call. He's so angry with me. Yeah, only me. The enforcer. As he left, he said, "sorry Keith. I didn't want it to turn out this way." I feel like a failure with him. I took the day off today, needless to say, I didn't sleep very well last night.

I went to my doctor's appointment. He recommended a dermatologist and told me to call to have it biopsied. I called the dermatologist, and they don't have an opening until the end of November. So, I have to find another one.

Today would have been my dad's 80th birthday. Happy birthday dad!

"All in all it's just another brick in the wall"

I'm still on strike. Well, semi-strike.
Both of the boys made dinner for me on Monday and pledged their undying love and gratitude to me. They promised to accept consequences for their actions and to be more responsible. Keith still thinks I'm being a jerk and thinks his end of the strike will be over if he keeps trying to kiss my ass. Think again. He needs to start stepping up to the plate as far as the boys are concerned.
So, the beginning of my week went well.
Then came the end of the week.
I found out that JJ has been lying to me all week. He offered to give up his phone in exchange for being able to go out after the prom. (we, oops, that would imply that Keith took an active role in this, I told him that since he was grounded because of his very poor grades that he couldn't go hang with his buddies after-prom.) I agreed to the switch. However, that sneaky, cheating, lying kid took the sim card out of his phone on Sunday and put it into an old phone of mine...which he took without asking and replaced it with an old sim card he got from a friend)so, he has not been phoneless. When I found out (something told me to turn his phone on) he lied about how it happened. He had plans to go to his Aunt's in Philadelphia this weekend, so I told him to leave the phone he'd been using and his driving permit on the counter before he left. He didn't do it. Now he's in Philadelphia until Monday and I get the stew over it all weekend. Yay me!
Also, on a completely separate note, I found a huge spot on my back that is certainly some sort of cancer. I have an appointment on Tuesday at the doctor's. There are some sorts of nearly-harmless cancer, but this is my life we're talking about. I'm sure it's melanoma. Plus, I've been doing some research and the little bugger fits all the criteria for melanoma. I'm sure I'll be okay, but what will I do if I can't sit out by the pool and read books every weekend in the summer? That's what I look forward to most.
Really, can one more bad thing happen to me? Mortgage crisis, idiot husband, disrespectful kids, bad economy....let's see, what else can we give her?? Oh yeah, how about cancer!

Strike

I'm on Strike.

Come Sail Away

That was the theme of JJ's prom. Here's a picture of him and his date:

Isn't he handsome?

?Happy Mother's Day??

I am so angry and disappointed in my kids right now, I literally am using every ounce of strength I have not to hop in my car and drive as fast and far as I can.
Neither Braden or JJ is a great student...they don't have it in them. But, they know I expect at least C's on their report cards. Every single report card comes and they get grounded for D's. Occasionally F's. Every single one.
They got grounded again last week. One is handling it better than the other, who shall remain nameless (Braden). He's been nasty and rude and disrespectful ever since he got his consequences. And, since they've been grounded, their grades have gone down. Yes, I said down.
Keith was planning on taking us out to dinner for Mother's Day, but I told him to cancel it. I really don't feel like sitting around a table with a couple of kids who could so blatently disregard what is expected of them, and pretending to be a happy family. I'd go without them, but I don't trust them to stay home and not use the entertainment (computer, video games, etc) that they've been grounded from.
I told them this and all I got in return is blank stares. No remorse. No apologies. Who are these people?

Brighton

My list didn't shrink at all this weekend...but for a good reason. I had my grandson. Not to sound like one of those boasting, stereotypical grandmothers...but he's adorable. And so bright. I took him grocery shopping with me, and of course everyone we passed was ooohing and aaahhing him, which he accepted with graceful smiles in the direction of the flatterers. When one man passed us, and had the audacity not to talk to him or smile at him, Brighton grabbed the man's shirt as he walked past us and when the man turned around Brighton dazzled him with his best smile and wave. The man laughed and laughed.

Here he is, judge for yourself.

"she works hard for the money"

With everything that's going on with my family (financially), you'd think I would be aware of how shitty the economy is, right? Wrong.
We had our house appraised in November by our realtor. Now that we're ready to list it, he "ran the numbers" again, and it went down twenty thousand dollars. In four months!!!! I'm flabbergasted. I'd better get my list crossed off quickly or it will go down again!

lists

It was report card time this week. Just once I'd like to get my kids' report cards and smile. But, noooooo. They're crappy. So, Braden and JJ are both on my shit list.

Last weekend I cleaned out the back flower beds and dejunked the basement. This weekend I'm doing windows and the front flower beds. Two more things crossed off my list.

We have our next three books picked for book group, so, for once, I'm going to plan ahead and order the whole list at one time. Save some money on shipping. Here's what we're reading:

"Gifted: A Novel" by Nikita Lalwani

" The Housekeeper and the Professor" by Yoko Ogawa

" The Story of a Marriage" by Andrew Sean Greer

"you've got to move this, you're doin' fine...."

Well, the decision has been made. We've decided to put our house on the market and to find a less expensive one.
Now, there's so much to be done! I have to paint the whole upstairs. I have to have the carpets upstairs shampooed. The garage has to be de-cluttered. I have to dye my living room curtains. There's an interior door that has to be replaced. Oh....and clean! Not that I'm not clean, but I'm not "show-your-house-to-complete-strangers-hoping-they'll-love-it-so-much-they'll-want-to-buy-it" clean. Plus, outside there's a ton that has to be done.
But the hardest thing of all is that we're going to have to agree on a new house. I might need to get a professional mediator.
Part of me is overwhelmed thinking about all this stuff....I'm starting this weekend on my list, but another part of me is relieved that we're going to take some action. It took a lot of persuading to get Keith to take his head out of the sand and agree to this.
Braden's upset, but kind of excited to move into town and be closer to his friends. JJ's just upset.